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Uh Oh! West Coaster Mistakes Arts Fest For Coachella
April 24, 2026
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Tsunami Doomsday Preppers Convince Students To Walk Around Campus In Goggles
April 23, 2026
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Inside Scoop! Two Friends 10 Back Up Excuses for Fading MarMon Released
April 22, 2026
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Res To Be Drained To Develop ChatBCT
April 10, 2026
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10 Things You Can Co Now That Lent Is Over
April 8, 2026
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Musical Theater Fan Asserts No Kings Protest Stole The Idea From Hamilton
April 2, 2026
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Fun! Your Upstairs Neighbor Is Practicing Their Tap Dancing For Showdown!
March 27, 2026
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ROTC Battalion “Liberates” Mod Party They Weren’t Invited To
March 26, 2026
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LTE: We’re “Two Friends,” But I Want To Be More Than Friends
March 25, 2026
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Student With Banking Return Offer Brags About Not Studying Anymore
March 19, 2026
The following article was translated with assistance from the Boston College Libraries. Hell yeah, dude. Another day as a horse. I thought today I’d just do my normal routine (wake up, eat hay, clop), but the kind people at The New England Classic reached out and asked if I’d...
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“I was about to hop in the shower when I saw the abomination,” recalled Gillette. “It looked like someone had shaved a grizzly bear.”
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Students whose parents are divorced are still encouraged to bring two puppets, on the grounds that they remain cordial and do not let their puppets engage in any hilarious family disputes, outrageous slapstick violence with oversized blunt objects, or crude puns during the ceremony.
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“We get that it’s Earth Day and all,” said Connie Serned (CSON ’23), “but Jesus Christ, I watched him lick a dandelion slowly from top to bottom yesterday on the grass outside of Lower. That can’t be right.”
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The sailors made the quick stop on their trip to find the Northwest Passage so that they could investigate the cultures of the territories they were about to occupy.
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“I opened the door and expected him to swoon at my advances but instead, he kept insisting that I had already paid for the pizza and that I was being wildly inappropriate. Whatever. He missed out on the pure paradise of my body strewn with rubbery cheese,” Narah explained.
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CHESTNUT HILL—In recent days, alarming reports filed all over campus have shed new light on a previously unknown trend that apparently has affected the entire academic year: students have been having sex this entire time. The New England Classic inquired further in order to assess the veracity of these...
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Live on CoRo all four years. I’d rather make the commute from exile every damn day than have to walk the marathon from the parking garage to the check-in desk even once. Talk to Molly’s owner for longer than .2 seconds. I’d give that man my instagram handle- hell,...
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LOWER LIVE AT CORCORAN COMMONS — In a bid to maintain transparency on campus, Boston College Dining Services announced Thursday morning that they mistakenly ordered an overabundance of clams for the kitchen’s monthly food stock. “We know how much students enjoy the pungent scent of freshly fried clams on...
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WALSH HALL — Students were disrupted late Sunday night by what reportedly sounded like a firehose from the bathroom of Suite 304. Reports indicate that this was no ordinary tinkle, but instead was categorized by Boston-based experts as a “Wicked Pissah.” The Classic obtained access to reports from the...
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