The New England Classic
Freshmen Use Generic Names for New Friends When Memory Fails
Citing their frustration at having to learn the different names of so many people, Boston College freshmen have resolved to call every one of their new friends either Dan or Madison, depending on gender. “It became clear to me within the first week here that learning all these names... Read more
Sandwich Bursts Into 21st Century
“It’s incredible!” yelled one student. “Holy shit! It looks so good!” praised another. “Thenepaper.com is so fresh, yo! 10/10 would bang!” yaked a freshman. “Wassup, bitches!?” said The Sandwich, spokesman for The New England Classic. “I have arrived!” At 5:09 PM on Tuesday, September 23rd, 2014, The New England... Read more