Kid Uses Word “Naïveté” In Paper, Still Gets a B
School March 26, 2021
Dr. Douglas Comeau Can’t Get Enough Of My Sweet, Sweet Nostrils (I Got Called Twice This Week)
Campus CultureCoronavirusSchoolStudent Life March 25, 2021
The stickers, typically used to indicate a safe place to sit to ensure social distancing, can be found in nearly every classroom on campus. But Meyer was the first person to think of sticking one on his face.
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CAB To Host Scholastic Book Fair
Student Life March 23, 2021
The Sun Puts University Counseling Services Out Of Business
Campus CultureStudent Life March 22, 2021
“I’ll be honest, when we looked at the forecast for the next two weeks, we knew we were fucked,” said UCS chairperson Dr. Sigmund Noid. “High temperatures, blue skies, and Danny brought spikeball? It’s a psychiatrist’s nightmare!”
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Are We In Love Or Did You Just Hold Every Door For Me Between O’Neill 3 And The Plex?
CoronavirusStudent Life March 19, 2021
It was just like any other Thursday morning when I saw you. Dr. Douglas Comeau had summoned the both of us down to see if we had the 2019-novel Coronavirus (2019-nCoV) in our system. But why us? Why now?
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Roommate Absolutely Covered In Blood Wants To Know If You Have Tide Stick
Student LifeWTF March 18, 2021
Another Iggy 5 resident, Tye Duh (LSOE ‘21), later reported seeing Wonply wandering the hall knocking on doors and screaming, “Ya know Tide to Go? The perfect size for travel? Removes even the toughest stains quick and on the spot?”
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Bookstore Sends Official Statement On 1919 Anglo-Irish War, Also A 25% Off Coupon On A Hat
Big IssuesCampus CultureSchoolStudent Life March 17, 2021
“Sadly, it has come to my attention that Baldwin’s voluptuous, feathery bazongas have become the subject of criticism,” Leahy said. “I just want to remind students that acknowledging the positive social and spiritual impact of our mascot’s humongous honkers is a key component to being men and women for others.”
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