Spooky! My Girlfriend Must Be A Vampire Because She Keeps Leaving Bite Marks On My Roommate’s Neck
Halloween has always been a time of year filled with spooks, scares and surprises, but none have ever been quite as startling as this: my girlfriend of two years is a vampire.
I know it sounds strange, but there’s no other explanation. My suspicions started about a month ago when I came back from class and saw her and my roommate hanging out in his bed. I had no issue with this because he’s my best friend and I totally trust him, so I didn’t think anything of it. That is, until a few hours later when I noticed a giant red mark on his neck.
I didn’t make the connection between the two events at first, but I eventually started to notice a pattern: whenever they’d hang out alone, a red mouth mark would appear on his neck. One day I even skipped class to listen in on what was going on while they were alone, and I heard vivid slurping sounds. This led me to the clear and obvious solution regarding what was going on: my girlfriend was a vampire and was sucking my roommate’s blood behind closed doors where no one would notice.
I couldn’t believe it! You think you have something good going with a girl, and she turns out to be doing something like this. And taking advantage of my best friend too! I’ve had trust issues all my life and was finally starting to get over it with this girl, but this just proved to me even more that I can never trust anyone.
Except, of course, for my roommate.