SPOOKY! Casper Grew Up, and He’s Anti-Vaxx
VANDERSLICE HALL — The Boston College Campus Activity Board is currently facing complaints by the student body in response to the anti-vaccination rhetoric uttered by last night’s guest speaker sponsored by the group, Casper the Friendly Ghost. It is CAB’s tradition to host an orator that challenges the status quo in honor of their yearly Spooky Week, with past guests including the ghost of President John F. Kennedy Jr., Nosferatu, and the devil. This year, however, the Office of Student Involvement is concerned CAB’s controversial speaker may have gone too far.
Mr. Ghost, now 95 years old, is an animated family favorite known for his pleasant disposition and adorable personality in the Casper the Friendly Ghost movie and TV show franchise. Lately, however, he has fallen out of favor with the public as he repeatedly protests the COVID-19 vaccine calling it a “hoax” and has urged fans to disregard global calls to protect one another and get vaccinated. Even his agent has dropped him, leaving him widely available to make objectionable Tik Toks with Full House’s Candace Cameron and contribute ferociously to Chet Hanks’ Twitter replies.
This anti-vaccine propaganda was the focal point of last night’s presentation in the Vanderslice Cabaret Room, though Mr. Ghost was repeatedly asked to refrain from political commentary and focus instead on his inspiring life as a renegade ghost. A spokesperson for CAB, Jeffree Thinker (CSOM ‘22), informed The Classic this morning that money has been tight ever since the club decided to hire a full-time crisis manager in response to the Ice Jam Honda scandal. Mr. Ghost was the only hirable Halloween icon within their budget.
“Sure, some may say he’s a little out of touch,” Thinker said, “but Boston College has become such an echo chamber that it could use some wisdom from the other side. After living through Polio, the Measles, and Tetanus, I think the guy knows what he’s talking about.” Thinker reportedly petitioned the administration last year to replace Bruce Springsteen with Tucker Carlson for the 2020 Convocation address and refused to comment on whether he himself has received the COVID-19 vaccine.
Mr. Ghost began his presentation by calling the Pfizer vaccine “Commy Kool-Aid”, and global lockdowns “nothing more than an attempt to keep old guys like me off the streets.” Mr. Ghost’s fictional siblings, Bonnie and Johnny, declined to comment on the beloved ghost’s piping hot political takes, but rumors say he will not be invited to this year’s Famous Studios Thanksgiving gathering.
The Campus Activities Board issued an official apology this morning, claiming that Mr. Ghost went completely off-script during his presentation, and clarified that they support the University’s decision to require proof of vaccination from all students.
At press time, Mr. Ghost was seen fraternizing with students from Turning Point U.S.A. outside of McElroy Dining Hall.