Spooky! “Hallo, Ween!” German Exchange Student Confused About Phallic Holiday
HolidaysSexSpooky October 31, 2024 The New England Classic
WELCH HALL — Guten tag! Mein name is Henrik Hefner, I am ze newest writer for NEC and I just came here from Germany on an exchange program! I am currently writing zis to let you all know zat I vas very confused of zis Hallo Ween talk. I vould so like to investigate and engage in all American traditions during my time here, including zose of a most peculiar nature.
Zere are so many things zat I vould like to ask about zis unusual celebration of ze penises, starting vith all of zis talk of dressing up for ze occasion. I vent to, vat you call, Party City, to seek a very small teepee for my pee pee, but to my dismay, all of ze costumes vere made for those dressing zeir full body. Vhere do I find such small garments? I reverted to knitting a custom sweater as a last resort, but it turned out to be quite flattering as it is a perfect fit, wunderbar!
Vith my pecker all cozied up, I am now ready to celebrate. Saying hallo to all of ze other weenies has been such fun today! Alzough I have not seen many Americans villing to reveal zeir willy costumes vith me… it is very strange, is zat not ze point of ze day? I think zey are unfamiliar vith ze European style of nudity, but I vill gladly be so kind as to show zem zat it is ok to bare some legs and bottocks. I don’t see ze problem in some skin, as long as ze important bits are covered. it’s just how ze good Lord made us, ja?
Anyvays, I am so very excited to drink copious amounts of pilsner tonight at ze bar. If I am lucky, maybe I vill charm a special little lady and take her home to my dormitory, if you know vat I mean ;). I hope she vill unwrap my peen from its cozy little sweater and give it a proper “Hallo, Ween!” greeting! Auf Wiedersehen!
