Spooky! Jake Celebrating Halloween By Ghosting You
UNKNOWN LOCATION — Despite your Snapchat streak, double texts, and dinner dates at Lower over the past month, Jake Miller (CSOM ’21) has reportedly decided to embrace the Halloween spirit this year by ghosting you.
While most celebrate the holiday by carving pumpkins, dressing up, and watching horror movies, Miller decided to take things to the next level this Halloween season. Close sources say he left your texts on read, pretended he didn’t see you even though you clearly made eye contact on the quad, and generally ignored your existence without so much as a warning or explanation – how spooky!
“It’s just crazy because he said he didn’t even like Halloween,” you told your roommate this morning, “and he knows I’m afraid of ghosts so I’m starting to take this kind of personally.”
Your roommate reminded you that he had that huge orgo exam this week and how it’s really only been about three and a half days and honestly it’s probably not a big deal because didn’t iMessage have that glitch a couple days ago too and anyways she really wouldn’t think anything of it because he’s not that cute anyways I mean have you seen that overbite?
At the moment, it remains unclear whether Miller will text you back before the Halloween festivities are over. For now, you’re just going to have to find a new Jon Snow for your Game of Thrones couple’s costume.
At press time, Miller did not return the Classic’s repeated requests for comment, despite his social media stories making it abundantly clear he was not busy at all and had access to both his phone and email.