8-Man Expecting Way Too Much From Single String of Lights
WALSH HALL — The residents of Walsh 306 are expecting way too much from the single string of lights in their common room, according to guests at the room’s pregame Friday night.
“They just aren’t enough to make the common room look cool,” said pregame attendee Lauren Lahren (MCAS ‘21). “Not only that, but they also think the lights are a lot brighter than they actually are. It was, like, so dark in there. I accidentally mixed my vodka with milk.”
The poorly-lit 8-man consists of Matt S. (CSOM ‘21), Matt D. (CSOM ‘21), Sam (CSOM ‘21), Nick (CSOM ‘21), David S. (CSOM ‘21), Matt R. (CSOM ‘21), Loud Justin (CSON ‘21), and an empty bed because Ryan transferred to Wake Forest. Although the group has lived there for over five months, they apparently feel no need to add any more decor to their shared living space.
“We got the lights before we even moved in, because we knew we were gonna be throwing down a lot,” Matt D. said. “We’ve only thrown one party so far, but we pregame all the time. Our friends love chilling here.”
In October, Sam and Nick went in on a John Belushi poster, but took it down just two weeks later when the Scotch tape gave out.
“It was such a cool poster — the one where he’s in the sweater that says ‘COLLEGE’,” Nick said. “From Dazed and Confused, yknow? But whatever. It looks sick in here as is.”
At press time, the suite was having a heated debate in the group chat about whether or not the vibe of their room would benefit from a “Saturdays Are For the Boys” flag.