Campus VSCO Girls Successfully Unionize
O’NEILL PLAZA — Seeking a unified representative body and the right to collectively bargain with outside parties, Boston College’s VSCO community announced on Tuesday the successful filing and formation of a union under University oversight.
Citing multiple cases of intellectual theft by a number of anonymous Boston College students, union representatives took to Instagram Live, Twitter and TikTok to proclaim an end to their era of widespread humiliation and misrepresentation.
“Everybody thinks they’re a VSCO girl as soon as they slap a “Future Mrs. Halpert” sticker on their Hydroflask,” explained rep. Kaylee K. Lee Kaye, absentmindedly stacking scrunchies on top of a well-worn copy of Das Kapital. “And it’s like, sksksksksk, that’s a continuing and pervasive pattern of cultural appropriation, sweetie!”
“Ultimately, we do feel it boils down to appropriation,” added Kayleigheigh Kay Leigh, one of the union’s founding members. “It’s a textbook case of one community desiring the established mannerisms and seemingly attractive norms of another, – and I oop! – and absorbing them without license. The sweatshirts, the FjällRäven, even the Vans for God’s sake. I mean seriously, what use could they possibly have for Vans? Real people aren’t still wearing Vans, are they?”
“Did you know that you can’t count likes on VSCO?” added rep. Anna Kayleigh Johnson-Lee, unprompted.
At press time, the union was holding a “literally-die-in” somewhere in the comments of a Halsey tweet.