Articles | Page 37 of 94 | The New England Classic

“It’s Just the BC Throat Tickle” Says Senior Spewing Mucus In Devlin 008

Big Issues Campus Culture Coronavirus October 1, 2021

“I am vaccinated. There’s nothing to worry about,” Tivacks said with her fingers crossed behind her back.

Class of 1952 Retakes Superfan Photo, Guy Had His Eyes Closed

School Student Life September 30, 2021

ALUMNI STADIUM — Old timers gathered and reminisced Sunday when the Boston College Class of 1952 assembled to retake their Superfan photo after realizing that Jerry “Skippy-Do” McGinty had his eyes closed in the first one. When the do-over was snapped, Ol’ Skippy-Do himself was front and center, eyes... Read more

Students Storm Field After Beating Newton North 24-20

Campus Culture Drinking WTF September 29, 2021

“We’re confident that that will translate well to this week’s matchup at Clemson. In a lot of ways, Newton North and Clemson have very similar defensive styles.”

Short Guy Thinks The Virtual Career Fair Went Well

Coronavirus WTF September 27, 2021

For the past 18 months, though, Tim has had one less thing to worry about during the already stressful recruiting process. The widespread use of Zoom and similar teleconferencing technologies have leveled the playing field for undersized individuals, as the short appear the same as the tall through the fallible eyes of the webcam.

Hafley Personally Nurses Players Back To Health

Featured Sports September 25, 2021

Adorned in maroon scrubs, Hafley addressed the Boston College community via Instagram Live late last night and committed himself to assuming personal responsibility for Jurkovec’s recovery. Hafley gently stirred chicken noodle soup as he declared the steps he would be taking to heal Jurkovec’s hand to thousands of viewers.

Dad Brings Girlfriend to Parents Weekend Instead of Mom

Big Issues Freshmen September 24, 2021

“I didn’t even know my parents had split up. I mean, I haven’t even been gone for a month,” bemoaned Dale, clearly bothered by the whole situation. “But I guess it explains him mentioning his ‘new flame’ and ‘adjustments’ at home when we’ve been on the phone – I just assumed he had started taking Viagra or something.”

Freshman Unknowingly Brings Mom to “Freud 101”

Freshmen School September 23, 2021

“I obviously don’t have the hots for my mom. That would be so gross. I mean, she’s a beautiful lady. I’m not gonna deny it. And she does look really nice in those Banana Republic slacks she wore today, but that’s just me being observational.”

Uhmm, Okay? Freshman Just Introduced Himself As A “Pee-Scholar”

Campus Culture Freshmen WTF September 20, 2021

CONNELL RECREATION CENTER — What would have been a casual game of pick-up basketball was derailed last Thursday when one of the first-year players led with a puzzling remark. As the freshmen made small talk while waiting for a court to open, one casually referred to himself as something... Read more

Stokes Set: How Bryce Vine Lost His Way

Uncategorized September 18, 2021

UNKNOWN LOCATION—It’s finally here. The day of Stokes Set, the first since the 2019-2020 academic year. Our esteemed CAB has sorted through and selected only the best, most qualified artist to perform to the masses of Eagles—the guy they hired for Plexapalooza before it got canceled. Bryce Vine will... Read more

“Send Stokes Set,” Pleads CAB Anonymously

Campus Culture Student Life September 17, 2021

CAB spokesperson Kyle Crab (MCAS ’23) responded to the allegations via Instagram story. “We take this sort of allegation very seriously,” wrote Crab of CAB. “With that being said, we’d love to see a lot of heads come out to Stokes Set this weekend so that we can justify not only our exorbitant operating budget but also our outright existence as an organization.”