Articles | Page 35 of 95 | The New England Classic

Athlete Scoots Home For The Holidays Due To Surge In Flight Prices

Holidays WTF November 22, 2021

However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”

Dennis Grosel’s Dad Complains To Jeff Hafley About Son’s Playing Time

Campus Culture Sports November 19, 2021

When questioned, Dennis Senior was open to speaking on the topic, “Yeah I spoke to the Ol’ Haf. I showed him Lil Denny’s highlight reel from St. Ignatius High School. Since I was already there, I offered up some plays that I used in college when I was a walk-on defensive end in ’87.”

Vending Machine Accepts Another Generous Donation

Campus Culture November 18, 2021

VANDERSLICE HALL — Boston College has long encouraged its students to be “men and women for others.” Whether this be through service-based classes, organizations like ForBoston, or general acts of kindness, many undergraduates have embraced this mission throughout their time at BC. Recent buzz has brought into the spotlight... Read more

Bert and Ernie Down the Hall Look Suspiciously Like Puppets

Dorm Stuff Freshmen Newton November 17, 2021

“Whenever I dap either of them up, they can never really get the hang of it. It’s like someone else is controlling their limbs.” Commented Oscar de Grouch (MCAS ’25) “Their hands are pretty small too, I thought it was just because they’re kinda short kings, but now I think otherwise.”

Pro-Life Club Replaces Table Representatives With Brick Wall

Campus Culture WTF November 15, 2021

The student body seemed to welcome the new addition to campus. One passerby, Secks Halver (MCAS ’24), shared her thoughts. “It’s amazing! It really is just like talking to the club members. I can’t wait to sit down every week and just duke it out with the wall. It’s gonna be cathartic.”

Test Tube Baby? This Guy’s Parents Conceived In Chem Lab

Sex WTF November 11, 2021

“I don’t really think he understands that two people raw-dogging it on a lab bench is not the same as an embryo grown in a lab.”

A Man For Others: This Guy Warms Every Chair Before His Class

Student Life WTF November 11, 2021

“I see that kid in there at 8:00 AM, 7:30 even. Every week. He sits in each chair in that classroom, gets ‘em good and warm. Even talks to them sometimes. Before he moves on to the next one, he gives one tender little kiss.”

LTE: Roaring Twenties? I Started Smoking Cigarettes

Campus Culture Newton November 9, 2021

What a life. We’re moving out of the pandemic, I’m a freshman in college, and it’s the 2020s. If the 1920s are any indication of how the next decade should go, we’re about to have the most insane ten years of our lives. But how will we know that... Read more

Guy Registers Special Little Mod Party Just For Himself

Campus Culture Drinking November 8, 2021

One mod resident who didn’t receive a pick time reported hearing strange sounds throughout the night. “I’d hear, like, Shakira playing and think ‘Oh, he is having a party,’” said Tom Blamigan (LSOE ’22), “but then it’d be followed by the kind of sob that could only come from a grown man. Really guttural stuff. It was tough to listen to.”

Students Honor Welles By Tying Bandannas Around Their Tits

Campus Culture Sports November 6, 2021

Young women were seen far and wide sporting the popularized dress of the Red Bandanna game: a bandanna forced, stretched, and morphed against its will into a sorry excuse for a shirt.