Articles | Page 33 of 94 | The New England Classic

Undergraduate Llama Thrilled That He Can Spit Again Following Expiration Of Mask Mandate

Campus Culture Coronavirus February 4, 2022

Evidently, Pakka has quite the reputation for projectile launching large swaths of mucus from his mouth, which can often be disruptive during class lectures. A deep dive into the record books revealed Pakka once hit a TA with his spit from the last row of McGuinn 121, a record that still stands today.

BC Rewards Quarantined Students With Yard Time

Coronavirus February 3, 2022

According to Shank, the students have naturally separated themselves into different cliques and have established dominance over different parts of the yard.

See-Through Schiller: Voyeurs and Exhibitionists Rejoice!

Campus Culture School Student Life February 1, 2022

Integrated Sciences Building — Peepers, snoopers, busybodies, and nosy nellies alike were elated by the opening of the brand spanking new Schiller Institute. The majority of classrooms of Schiller, which house engineering courses, high-tech laboratories, and uncomfortable rolling desks, have at least one clear wall. As the nerds filed... Read more

The Google 2-Step Rapture Is Here: No One Is Safe

Uncategorized January 30, 2022

WHEREVER THEY KEEP THE BC TECH PEOPLE— Students and faculty alike have been frantically saving their gmail passwords and kissing their loved ones goodbye in preparation for the most anticipated event of the month: The Google 2-Step Rapture. As made abundantly clear by BC Technology Services, the rapture is... Read more

Roommate’s New Year’s Resolution Seems To Be “Fart More”

Dorm Stuff WTF January 24, 2022

“I think these under-thunders are a pretty passive-aggressive way of him asking for more alone time. This man is halfway to a charcuterie plate with all the cheese he’s been cutting. It’s unbelievable.”

Jeff Hafley Changes BC Football Slogan To “Everyone’s A Winner”

Big Issues Sports Uncategorized November 29, 2021

The players seem to have a positive outlook on next year’s season. According to a survey distributed by The Classic, the team describes the upcoming rebrand as “cool, I guess,” “what does rebrand mean,” and “as long as i get the scooter idc.”

Professor Hosts Office Hours In Home On November 25th

Featured Holidays School November 24, 2021

CHESTNUT HILL — Late last night, all freshmen enrolled in the famous first-year seminar entitled Courage to Know (UNCS 2201) received a Canvas notification from their professor, Cue T. Pie. The announcement stated that despite the reprieve from classes Wednesday-Friday, Professor Pie would be holding office hours in her... Read more

“We’re Totally Grabbing Lunch Over Break,” Say High School Friends Who Will Definitely Not Be Grabbing Lunch Over Break

Holidays Student Life November 23, 2021

NEEDHAM, MA — As BC students flock home for Thanksgiving, the impending doom of being forced to reunite with highschool acquaintances has led many to adopt tactics of negotiation and diplomacy. Anita Brake (MCAS ‘25), excitedly posted an obligatory “Goodbye Chestnut Hill, hello Needham” boomerang on her story to commemorate... Read more

Athlete Scoots Home For The Holidays Due To Surge In Flight Prices

Holidays WTF November 22, 2021

However, after a stroke of inspiration while scooting to his finance class, Speedster has decided to do what no other Boston College Athlete has done: scoot on home for the holidays. “Yeah I mean this bad boy can get me to Playa Bowls and back, why can’t I scoot to Florida?”

Dennis Grosel’s Dad Complains To Jeff Hafley About Son’s Playing Time

Campus Culture Sports November 19, 2021

When questioned, Dennis Senior was open to speaking on the topic, “Yeah I spoke to the Ol’ Haf. I showed him Lil Denny’s highlight reel from St. Ignatius High School. Since I was already there, I offered up some plays that I used in college when I was a walk-on defensive end in ’87.”