If we manage to escape the Western descent into fascism, the constant threat of nuclear war, the ever increasing threat of climate change, gerrymandering, Exxon Mobil, NFTs, shrimp in Cinnamon Toast Crunch, global pandemics, Don’t Look Up, Late Night in Lyons, and “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, you are going to do great things in your four (or less) years here.
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The real appeal of this new complex comes in the form of a 30 million dollar, four-story, indoor-outdoor, climate controlled trophy section. This new ‘Trophy World’ area will house BC’s countless participation ribbons, “At Least We Tried” banners, “There Are No Losers In God’s Eyes” medals, and of course “Well There’s Always Next Year” Trophies.
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Uh Oh! Your Punta Hookup Just Asked You To Senior Prom At Newton North
Big IssuesNewtonStudent Life March 31, 2022
Barrased continued, “I asked him where he was living, as one does when they meet a fellow Eagle, and when he said ‘I live in Newton,’ I just assumed he had the worst housing pick time known to man!”
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Student Walks By Admissions Tour With Mature Confidence, Everybody Cheers
Campus CultureStudent Life March 3, 2022
Members of the tour group reported that Richie Walker (MCAS ’23) caught all of their attention as he walked by them. Their tour guide kept speaking, but all of their gazes were glued to this BC Adonis and his powerful stride. Once he passed the oggly spectators, they all cheered for him, some even clad with cowbells and megaphones.
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“I don’t know the significance of the stuff. Everyone has the right to practice what they want, but golly, I just want to lick my thumb and shine them up just like my Bubbe used to do.”
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Comeau Defends Decision To End Required COVID Testing: “I Was Afraid Of Missing The BTR Reunion Tour”
Big IssuesCoronavirusSex March 1, 2022
Former Fake ID Owners Spend Weekend at Build-a-Bear, Pump It Up
Big IssuesDrinking February 28, 2022
The remaining population of underage juniors have opted for a more dignified and exclusive option: playing in a private room for 2 hours at Pump It Up. Summer B. Irthday (MCAS ’23) explained to The Classic that she is part of the “silent majority” of underage juniors, and repeatedly reiterated that the rug burn on her knees and elbows are “not what you think.”
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“Even though I’m technically blind, I could have sworn I saw the faint outline of their slender pointed head and thinly furred ears. I couldn’t help but take a bite.”
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