Hafley Wants You To Give Morehead … A Chance
SportsStudent LifeWTF November 5, 2021
“The guys need Morehead. He’s a natural leader and will definitely come in handy. I think he’ll really loosen them up and get the juices flowing. There’s natural chemistry there. He may be the secret ingredient to finally arouse our boys.”
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Brad From CSOM: A Day In The Life
SchoolStudent Life November 4, 2021
“I go ham on establishing my 500+ connections on LinkedIn—the primary determinant of my self-worth. It’s also my second-choice dating app, surpassed only by Christian Mingle.”
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BC Snubbed from First CFP Rankings Despite Statement Wins Against Colgate, UMass
Uncategorized November 3, 2021
“These kids worked so hard to get where we are this season,” said Hafley, “Frankly, any team that dropped 50 points on that Colgate defense is undeniably one of the best 25 teams in the nation.”
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BC Sends Students To Stonehenge To “Figure It Out”
Big IssuesLeahyService November 1, 2021
“We’re kind of curious on, like, how they did it. They didn’t have cranes then, to my knowledge, so they must have used their hands. Now for those back home, these things are heavy–big rocks,” said “Little” Lisa Thorax (LSOE ’22) over zoom. “We were collected by the president–BC wanted their best applied psych majors, to apply our psych.”
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Spooky: Someone Did The Dishes and It Wasn’t Me!
Spooky October 28, 2021
“I felt like I had walked into an episode of The Twilight Zone. Only something supernatural could have accomplished what the seven able bodied inhabitants of my 8-man seem incapable of doing.”
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SPOOKY! Casper Grew Up, and He’s Anti-Vaxx
CoronavirusHolidaysSpooky October 27, 2021
Mr. Ghost began his presentation by calling the Pfizer vaccine “Commy Kool-Aid”, and global lockdowns “nothing more than an attempt to keep old guys like me off the streets.”
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SPOOKY: Ghosts Forced To Find New Haunts Because Of Guest Policy Crackdown
Campus CultureDorm StuffSpooky October 26, 2021
The outbreak began a few weeks ago with the beginning of the new lunar cycle, according to supernatural scholars. “We are very concerned by these latest developments,” said Fr. Donald Callahan. “While the number of infected students is still relatively low, that is more of a sign of the lack of virgins on campus, which is equally troubling.”
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I thought fake ids were a myth – the type of thing you only see in Superbad. Like, it’s literally illegal. I’m a good kid. Sure, I like a good underage drink once in a while but identity theft?!
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