BC Sends Students To Stonehenge To “Figure It Out”

WILTSHIRE, ENGLAND — In an act of unprecedented American exceptionalism, BC has decided to send a group of its best students to Stonehenge. Their goal? Deciphering its mysterious origins and purpose.

“We’re kind of curious on, like, how they did it. They didn’t have cranes then, to my knowledge, so they must have used their hands. Now for those back home, these things are heavy–big rocks,” said “Little” Lisa Thorax (LSOE ’22) over zoom. “We were collected by the president–BC wanted their best applied psych majors, to apply our psych.”

“Applied psych majors are the closest thing we got to detectives here at Boston College. True blue gumshoes they are not, but inquisitive and analytical they are!” said Fr. Leahy.

New England Classic field reporter Pliers Monkierench (MCAS ’24) reports from Stonehenge that students were handed notebooks and magnifying glasses by the trip advisor. The advisor, Professor Jones, then said “figure it out.” Conjectures on the monument’s history have been largely speculative.

“Yeah, I got it actually, this kind of thing comes natural to me,” declared Ronnie Lunch (LSOE ’23). “So, I’m 90 percent sure they fell from the sky. But not that high in the sky, or else there’d be a crater.”

There were voices of dissent against Lunch’s hypothesis: “Ronnie’s wrong, the Druids notoriously loved joshing with people. It’s made of foam, that’s why they don’t let you touch them. It’s a well kept secret among the intelligentsia,” said one student who chose to remain nameless.

“We understand the world is watching,” said the nameless student, “and that BC eagerly awaits our return and the presentation of our findings. They might embarrass us if we don’t figure it out. I don’t want that, not one bit.”

“Oh we’re going to embarrass them so bad haha. Think public pranks–whip cream, big floppy hats–no spoilers though, better a surprise.” said Leahy.

The New England Classic will provide updates as they come in.

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