Leahy’s 10-Year Plan: BC To Level The Mods, Build 8 More Carneys
THE MODS — Students and alumni are devastated this week following the announcement of a new addition to Fr. Leahy’s magnum opus, the 10-Year Plan. Fr. Leahy received approval for an additional construction dream that hopes to accelerate the quest to reach the pinnacle of academic institution. The 10-Year Plan now calls for BC to level the Mods and build eight more Carneys in their place.
Everyone knows BC loves a construction project more than the average North American beaver (Castor canadensis), but this decision seems to hit the hardest for student morale. While the administration is generally receptive, honest, and held in the highest regard by its student body the destruction of its most iconic institution has left the BC community dumbfounded.
“I think they should’ve maybe added dishwashers instead of, I guess, demolishing my entire personality, but I guess we could always use more Carneys?” commented Mo Dular (MCAS ‘24).
While a vast majority of students deplore the decision, some are hopeful it will boost BC in the national rankings which have recently fallen several spots. When asked his thoughts on the decision to build more of “everyone’s favorite building,” Paul McCarney (CSOM ‘24) thinks “it could be the best thing that ever happened to this friggin’ place. We need more buildings that scare you when you walk in them.”
This recent addition to the plan ensures future generations of Eagles will also have the privilege of large parts of their campus totally inaccessible due to construction for years to come. Cranes and other construction equipment will be campus staples soon enough!
At press time, Fr. Leahy was getting written up for several OSHA violations.