A Man For Others: This Guy Warms Every Chair Before His Class
STOKES HALL — There may be a Humanitarian of the Year award on the horizon for Frank Loanley (MCAS ‘24), who has recently taken it upon himself to provide some extra comfort to each and every one of his classmates. Before his 9:00 AM philosophy class, Loanley ensures that each chair in the room is nice and warm for his fellow students.
Loanley told The Classic, “It just feels like the right thing to do. As the weather gets colder, those chairs, errr I mean students need some help staying toasty. Someone has to step up, and I’m more than happy to be that guy. I do it for the betterment of the student body. It has absolutely nothing to do with the chairs themselves, obviously.”
A faculty member, who chose to remain anonymous, attested to Loanley’s dedication, “I see that kid in there at 8:00 AM, 7:30 even. Every week. He sits in each chair in that classroom, gets ‘em good and warm. Even talks to them sometimes. Before he moves on to the next one, he gives one tender little kiss. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Loanley’s classmates don’t seem to view his efforts in a positive light. Cher Hayter (LSOE ‘25) shared her sentiments on the topic, “It’s gross, okay? Imagine sitting down in class at 9 in the morning and every single time, your chair is warm. Nobody likes a warm chair. And that Frank kid gives us all dirty looks when we sit down, like he owns the chairs or something. Weirdly possessive.”
At press time, Loanley was seen caressing the empty chairs and whispering sweet nothings to the armrests.