Senior Falls Asleep In Hammock, Awakens As Butterfly
ROBSHAM LAWN — After falling asleep for over two hours in his hammock next to Robsham Theater, Steven Monarch (MCAS ’21) awoke in shock to find he had gone through the process of metamorphosis and turned into a butterfly.
“I’ve got to say, this is certainly not the start to the week I thought I was going to have,” Monarch told the Classic. “I mean, I just wanted to enjoy the nice weather and take a quick nap in my hammock before class. I wrapped myself all nice and cozy, like a little cocoon, and when I woke up, I had antennae and a beautiful set of wings. Pretty wild stuff.
While the change is certainly a surprise, Monarch says he’s excited about the opportunities offered by his new, airborne lifestyle.
“After realizing I’d survived the trauma of being broken down into a gelatinous protein goo, I was terrified. What would I tell my softball team? How could I get a job? But then, it hit me that I’m no longer bound to the crushing agony of human consciousness, and I felt a lot better.”
Along with flitting gently between the flowers, resting daintily on the tip of a gnarled log, and accentuating students’ observations of the nice weather, Monarch has been enjoying dipping his proboscis into the puddles of Mountain Berry Blast™ Powerade behind Corcoran Commons.
At press time, Monarch was seen floating up the Million Dollar Stairs on his way to enjoy a leaf from Eagle’s Nest.