Gasson Exhibiting Signs Of Napoleon Complex After Arrival Of Much Taller Crane
Big IssuesCampus Culture January 26, 2023
“That big ole nerd? He stink. Nobody like crane,” replied Gasson in a clear exhibition of its newly developed Napoleon complex.
Read more
Pick Me Guy Walks Into Friendsgiving, Says “Where My Thanks At”
Campus CultureHolidaysStudent Life November 20, 2022
The latest showing of Latz’s pick me tendencies came Saturday night when he showed up five minutes late to his upstairs neighbors’ Friendsgiving dinner and began asking every person at the function, “Where my thanks at?”
Read more
If Only There Were An Online Platform Where I Could Attend Class While Sick
CoronavirusStudent Life November 16, 2022
“Now that you are taking this class, the professors OWNS your ass. If they tell you to be in class, you need to be present or deal with the consequences.”
Read more
Receipt Reveals That Student Actually Did Order A Side Of Bug
Big IssuesCampus CultureStudent LifeWTF November 15, 2022
Due To Warm Weather, UCS Starts Support Group For Canada Goose Owners
Big IssuesCampus Culture November 11, 2022
“This warm weather has gotten really concerning lately,” said Sue Warm (CSOM ’25). “It shouldn’t be 65 degrees in November– it’s just not natural. We are biologically inclined to be wearing our Canada Goose jackets at this time of the year. Repressing this instinct is making us all feel super depressed. I’m so depressed, I’ve only been using Olaplex steps 3-5. I’m too depressed to even use steps 6-9.”
Read more
BC students were shocked to receive an email on Wednesday from the Office of Student Services announcing an increase of $0.008 to their tuition, effective immediately.
Read more
Daylight Savings Opens A Daylight Checkings Account
WTF November 9, 2022
Each November, Daylight Savings ends, and with it comes any of its remaining balance. Thankfully, the Classic recently scheduled an appointment for Daylight to meet with TD Bank representative Ben Kerr to better handle its finances.
Read more
That student is Political Science major Demi Crocy (MCAS ’25). “Yeah, the country has gone to shit in the past few years, but you have to weigh the benefits and the costs. One walk to the mail room could be what I consider ‘worth the effort,’ but then I would have to walk to another mailbox after I filled out my ballot. Think about it. Is it really worth it?”
Read more
With a plethora of juniors spending their Fall semester abroad, private snapchat stories have seen an exponential growth despite becoming largely obsolete since 2019. Broadcasting their sick experiences, like clubbing in Spanish cities, speaking exclusively English to locals, and definitely NOT longing to attend tailgates, students studying abroad have taken the opportunity to flex on all their America-bound friends.
Read more
Filling Your 8-Man With Hay, And 5 Other Autumnal Mistakes
Dorm Stuff November 2, 2022
It’s that time of year again; the leaves are changing, the wind is crisp, and pumpkin patches and apple picking are all the rage. With all the seasonal change going on, the Classic has decided to give you a guide on how to avoid key autumnal mistakes.
Read more