Guy Who Hates Christmas Ready To Make It His Whole Personality
Campus CultureHolidays November 1, 2022
Neighbor Holly Day (LSOE ’23) said, “My roommates and I were just enjoying our evening, stringing lights in the living room, when all of a sudden there was a deafening knock on the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a fervent noise complaint from an angry man in a nightcap who looked like he could have been either 22 or 82.”
Read more“Don’t be all uncool and skip out on wearing a costume because I’m being serious when I say EVERYONE wears costumes for Halloween classes.”
Read more“First thing I noticed were the decorations, them being alive and all I mean,” said Einstein. “The second thing I noticed was that we were all out of Frips.”
Read moreSPOOKY: Blandest Person You Know Going As Maddy From Euphoria For Halloween
Campus CultureSpookyStudent Life October 27, 2022
One young avant-garde, Mary Muhndane (MCAS ’25), was blessed with a stroke of genius with the most original idea to go as Maddy from the little-watched trauma porn, I mean show, Euphoria, on HBO.
Read moreTalherpes soon came to understand that her boyfriend was sending her these candy bags filled with cryptic messages about her sexual health. For Talherpes, the condomgrams quickly lost their shine and became signs of a potential medical emergency.
Read moreHowever, Dropper quickly noticed that some players were holding flashlights and realized that something completely different was going on. They were giggling and chasing each other around in a rollicking game of flashlight tag. Dropper told the Classic, “I knew some of the players frequently used flashlights, but I didn’t think they were ever to be seen or sanitary enough to be touched by other people.”
Read more“I Have No Idea Why Everyone Is Sick” Says Classmate Who Just Spat In Your Mouth
CoronavirusStudent Life October 22, 2022
Guy Grossie (CSOM ’23) can’t seem to wrap his head around how illness spreads, or his coloring homework. Grossie, of course, has also fallen victim to the “throat tickle.” He describes the ordeal as “not too bad,” describing it as “a sore throat for only a couple months, debilitating fatigue, and a gnarly cough.”
Read morePassive Aggressive Roommate Posts All Her BeReals While Cleaning
Dorm StuffResLifeStudent Life October 20, 2022
Nadia Mohm (Lynch ‘23), fed up with the five other slobs she cohabitates with, has enacted the strategy of exclusively posting pictures of her cleaning up after them around the apartment.
Read moreFreshmen RA’s Now Offer A Goodnight Kiss To Homesick Residents
Dorm StuffFreshmenResLife October 19, 2022
With the removal of all Covid restrictions on campus, the Residence Hall Association is delighted to announce that Resident Advisors will now offer goodnight kisses to all homesick students.
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