The New England Classic
Passive Aggressive Roommate Posts All Her BeReals While Cleaning

Nadia Mohm (Lynch ‘23), fed up with the five other slobs she cohabitates with, has enacted the strategy of exclusively posting pictures of her cleaning up after them around the apartment.

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Freshmen RA’s Now Offer A Goodnight Kiss To Homesick Residents

With the removal of all Covid restrictions on campus, the Residence Hall Association is delighted to announce that Resident Advisors will now offer goodnight kisses to all homesick students.

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WTF: This Eco-Conscious Girl Uses Condoms?
WALSH HALL — In the past few years, the student-led organization Ecopledge has completed a variety of modest improvements to work toward making Boston College a more sustainable campus and Boston College’s instagram more greenwashed. Waste reduction efforts have given students the opportunity to throw their plastic forks in... Read more
Game Of Thrones Spin-Off “House Of Roncastle” Coming To HBO In Spring 2023

House of Roncastle is to be a 10-episode-long tale of the illustrious Roncalli Hall, a safe haven for neglected and worthless sophomores of Boston College.

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Addies-Adjacent Dining Location “Subtracties” To Open On Campus

This past weekend, Addies was humbled as a new dining location “Subtracties” opened up straight across the Lower plaza.

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Fr. Leahy Invites Kanye West To Perform At MarMon: “I Think He’s Really Come Around!”

Leahy continued, “He’s saying things a lot of people are afraid to say nowadays, and I know the youth listen to him. Also, I love that bar where he’s like, ‘She say ‘Can you get my friends in the club?’ I say ‘Can you get my benz in the club?’ If not, treat your friends like my Benz, Park they ass outside ‘til the evening end.’”

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Stop The Count: BC Republicans Protest Finite Probability Midterm

The Classic obtained a tweet from student Don Ald (CSOM ’26) that said: “There is NO WAY (ZERO!) that this midterm is anything but substantially fraudulent. Serious grading fraud at Boston College – so why isn’t The Heights reporting on this? Serious bias – big problem!”

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BC Football Gets Routed By Clemson, Blames Goblin Halftime Show
ALUMNI STADIUM — On Saturday night, Boston College’s Eagles took the field against the Clemson Tigers hoping to upset the 5th-ranked team in the nation. While the first half of the game featured strong defensive efforts from both sides, the Eagles seemed to give up once the third quarter... Read more
5 Rights You Need To Know Before Appearing In Homecoming Court

Before appearing in homecoming court on Friday, be sure to remember these FIVE Constitutionally-protected legal rights. Don’t let your freedom be compromised!

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Squash Team Eagerly Awaits Selection At Fall Harvest

For the past ten years, BC squashes have consistently been rated #1 in plumpness, #3 in unwarranted big ego, and #867 in general wanker-ness by the New England Parental Organization of Talented International Squash Mothers (N.E.P.O.T.I.S.M.).

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