The New England Classic
If Only There Were An Online Platform Where I Could Attend Class While Sick

If Only There Were An Online Platform Where I Could Attend Class While Sick

CoronavirusStudent Life November 16, 2022 The New England Classic

“Now that you are taking this class, the professors OWNS your ass. If they tell you to be in class, you need to be... If Only There Were An Online Platform Where I Could Attend Class While Sick

UNIVERSITY HEALTH SERVICES—- With coughs so forceful they shake the floors of lecture halls, one innovative and forward thinking student Zoo Ma has been looking for a solution. “I’m so sick, both physically and sick and tired of dragging myself to class when I’ve been put on doctors ordered bed rest,” Ma recounted.

“I don’t want to get my classmates sick, especially right before Thanksgiving where they’re going to be hugging a bunch of old people and holding babies; but my professor has an attendance policy in the syllabus stating students who miss a singular lecture or discussion section must report to my office for a caning and eraser clapping session.”

Ma was left in confusion by the policy, stating that her professor does not use a mobility aid nor chalkboard in class, and isn’t a nun. This is when it hit her (no not the cane, but a brilliant idea).

If only there were an online platform from which she could attend class while sick, from the comfort and safety of her dorm room! Ma believes that she could receive the same level of education on a digital streaming platform, so much so that the university wouldn’t even have to decrease her tuition accordingly.

“I have this idea for a program, that’s sorta like a group FaceTime, where the professor can lecture and share their screen or slidedeck and students can follow along at home. I envision that students could even choose when their professor can hear them to avoid background noise disturbances. It would really be quite seamless.” Ma explained.

Ma told the Classic that she pitched the idea Office for Student Services, Office for Students with Disabilities and the Dean of Students and was met with a stern response.

“Now that you are taking this class, the professors OWNS your ass. If they tell you to be in class, you need to be present or deal with the consequences. The idea of students tuning into class virtually undermines our philosophies of education here at Boston College,” University Officials told Ma in harmonious unison.

At press time, Ma was seen spreading illness in lecture halls while her professor led a particularly interactive lecture consisting of clicking through a powerpoint and speaking.