Massachusetts To Use BC’s Gym Reservation Software To Schedule Vaccines

BOSTON CITY HALL — After receiving a heavy dose of criticism on the organizational failures of the Massachusetts COVID-19 Vaccinations Phase II rollout, Governor Charlie Baker informed the press that the Commonwealth will begin using the Margot Connell Recreation Center Building Reservation System to schedule vaccinations.

“Working in conjunction with our partners in Chestnut Hill, the Massachusetts Department of Public Health will be providing the remaining doses of both the Moderna and the Pfizer COVID vaccines throughout the state using this newly revamped, state of the art scheduling infrastructure,” Baker announced.

Boston College students have been able, in theory, to utilize the web portal—touted by users as “totally impossible to use” and “infuriatingly inefficient”—to reserve a block of time for exercise. However, many users on the ground in Newton have reported an inability to schedule an appointment, even days in advance.

“This powerful sense of frustration is exactly what we’re looking to harness for Phase II,” Baker added. “BC’s system was broken on day one, and this aligns with the Commonwealth’s vaccination strategy. We didn’t come 42nd out of 50 for nothing.”

A follow-up statement released last Thursday clarified that the intention of the new scheduling system was not simply to frustrate elderly citizens who are attempting to secure a life-saving vaccine.

“The real point of using the Plex reservation system is to cover up the fact that we don’t actually have enough vaccines to give out to all the people who desperately need it,” the statement read. “We are also obligated to throw out at least one quarter of this precious commodity, which the reservation system helps us to achieve.”

Baker could not be reached for further comment at time of press, but several students did report seeing a “fiscally conservative, socially liberal-ish daddy” doing bicep curls at the Plex.

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