Tuition Increases By $0.008 To Pay For Leahy’s Blue Checkmark On Twitter
LeahyWTF November 10, 2022 The New England Classic
ST. MARY’S — William P. Leahy, S.J., unveiled a bright blue verification checkmark on Twitter yesterday, just two weeks after Elon Musk followed through on his plan to buy the bird company. Leahy is one of the thousands who gained verification after Musk began selling the checkmarks for $8 a month.
BC students were shocked to receive an email on Wednesday from the Office of Student Services announcing an increase of $0.008 to their tuition, effective immediately.
“EagleApps is down, the Phillies lost, and trees have become skeletons of leaf meat. Sure, morale may be low but at least one thing is up– your tuition! That’s right, Mummy and Poppy are now paying 80K a year AND eight thousandths of a cent!” the email read. No reasoning was stated.
While the universal increase in tuition and the cost of Leahy’s blue checkmark are not proven to be related, the Classic’s investigations point towards signs of correlation. Private DM exchanges between Leahy and Musk revealed Leahy’s wish for the blue checkmark prior to purchase.
“Elon. Interested in this new gizmo. To whom do I address the check? Do you accept Eaglebucks and/or indulgences?” Leahy said. Musk has not yet responded.
Empowering the voice of people and democratizing journalism are the main goals of Musk’s methods. Since their newfound verification, incels, Radiohead enjoyers, NFT buyers, and even Fr. Leahy have never been more excited to employ their Musk-appointed free speech.
Leahy’s first tweet after figuring out how to subscribe to Twitter Blue and purchase the blue check was, “I think I’d prefer a thot daughter. The gays refused to give me a disco ball ornament at their GLC tabling! Whatever happened to the virtue of charity?”
Indication of Leahy’s purchase of verification is further evidenced by his older tweets @ing Musk, revealing a strange, years-long knowledgeability of Musk’s life:
“X Æ A-12 was NOT written in the Bible. Do better!”
“I would buy a Tesla but I never got my driver’s license. Add that to the bucket list!”
“Oblivion’s mid as fuck. Real Grimes fans know Genesis is better, SHOOT ME.”
And, finally, “Okay… this one wins [Crying Laughing Emoji],” in response to Musk’s tweet of a Crazy Frog meme and then again, one year later, to Musk’s tweet of Hasbulla.
At press time, Fr. Leahy was seen Wikihowing to convert $3.7 billion of endowment to Dogecoin.
