BC Postpones Divestment To Give World Time To Forget Harvard Did It First
CHESTNUT HILL — After learning that Harvard’s press conference announcing their divestment from fossil fuel stocks would precede Boston College’s own divestment announcement by mere minutes, Father Leahy decided to postpone BC’s divestment indefinitely. Sources present at the announcement ceremony in the Rat, who begged and pleaded to remain anonymous, described a tense environment as the news came in from Cambridge. Father Leahy supposedly told the senior staff assembled that he would “not let it look like we’re copying those Ivy League fucks,” his frock crumbling with disdain as if it were flustered as well.
The decision comes after years of student activism calling on the university to divest. Reactions to Leahy’s revelations are expected to be delayed and underwhelming.
After a briefing this morning on the divestment developments, UGBC Senate members drafted a proposal to consider motioning to request a fifteen-minute zoom meeting with the administration to voice their concerns, which is set to be voted on the Friday after next. When contacted by The New England Classic as to whether the administration would agree to meet with the elected student body, University officials appeared to have forgotten about UGBC’s existence and climate change altogether.