Red Bandana Game Canceled Amid Covid Concerns; BC Schedules Two 9/11s For 2021
YAWKEY ATHLETICS CENTER — Boston College Athletics announced on Saturday morning that the annual Red Bandana game would be cancelled due to the recent spike in COVID-19 cases. The University also announced that to make up for the missed game, two 9/11s had been scheduled for the 2021/22 season.
Boston College Athletic Director Patrick Kraft announced that the game, held annually in honor of BC alumnus Welles Crowther, who sacrificed his life saving others during 9/11, “was just not going to bring in enough money this year to be worth putting on.”
When asked why the school didn’t simply hold the game earlier in the season, Kraft replied, “Look, I’ll be honest, I’d love to honor the legacy of Welles’ sacrifice on 9/11 in November like we usually do, but it doesn’t make sense from a bookkeeping standpoint this year. Hell, we haven’t had the Red Bandana game in September since 2015, and I didn’t even work here then. I’m just honoring the sacred tradition of milking this game for the largest audience we can scrape together. But if we can’t actually sell tickets for the game, then what’s the point?”
The Athletics department, he added, has a contingency plan in place for such unfortunate circumstances. Earlier this week University President William P. Leahy, S.J. released an announcement that to create a more equitable situation, as well as make up for lost revenue, BC will simply schedule two 9/11s for the 2021/22 football season.
As to when the two 9/11 games will take place, Leahy responded that in the interest of keeping everybody’s schedule straightforward, the University had simply added an extra day to the month of September; an “eleventy-first” following the original eleventh day.
“We’re really thrilled with this solution, and we think it will really help restore our ticket revenue for next year’s season,” added Kraft excitedly. “I mean, what could be better for the Athletics budget than a SECOND 9/11? As Jesus proclaimed to his disciples, the more the merrier!”
No further elaboration was given as to the creation of “September Eleventy-First”, but some have theorized that it was the only weekend Doug Flutie is available to drunkenly pitch hail Mary passes into the crowd and relive one last thrill, desperately seeking the answer to some ineffable question in the bottom of his glass at Mary Ann’s.