Dropkick Murphys Cover Band Actually The Dropkick Murphys
Boston November 1, 2018
BOSTON COMMON — Hundreds of Red Sox fans were left astonished yesterday after learning that the Dropkick Murphys cover band at the team’s victory parade was in fact the actual Dropkick Murphys. The band was situated on one of the first duck boats in the parade procession, which passed... Read more
Funny Friend Actually Just Mean
Student Life November 1, 2018
THE RAT — In a surprising move this Thursday, friends of sophomore Mike Hanley collectively agreed that his “hilarious roasts” are really just veiled insults. The epiphany occurred when the friends reminisced about his classic jokes, suddenly realizing they were targeted at each of their insecurities and/or flaws. “Yeah,... Read more
COMMONWEALTH AVE. — On Sunday night, Boston College’s Red Sox fans celebrated the team’s World Series victory against the L.A. Dodgers. As the game came to a close, the boys on the eighth floor of Walsh cooked up the most genius play of the night. “Bros, how wild would... Read more
Spooky! OSI Approves Another A Capella Group
SpookyStudent Life October 31, 2018
CARNEY HALL — In a controversial decision, the Office of Student Involvement (OSI) approved the formation of another a capella group on campus last Friday. The newly formed group, The Pottertones, will be Boston College’s first Harry Potter-themed singing group. “I was shocked when I realized there wasn’t a... Read more
Spooky! 23 People Murdered At CAB’s Haunted Lawn Event
Spooky October 30, 2018
STOKES LAWN — Nearly two dozen Boston College students appeared to get more than they bargained for last week at the Campus Activities Board (CAB) “Haunted Lawn” event when 23 people were unable to make it out of the lawn alive. Students who survived the experience reportedly found it... Read more
PULASKI, TN — Mac Xavier (MCAS ‘19) ventured to Southern Tennessee over the Halloween weekend to visit his longtime friend from high school, Dave Dukington. Many were reportedly dressed for the occasion, and some of the people who were dressed up as sheet ghosts kept saying “some really racist... Read more
ALUMNI STADIUM — Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio may miss the team’s Friday night matchup against the University of Miami after Addazio reportedly evacuated Chestnut Hill late Thursday evening, due to what he described as “serious concerns over incoming hurricanes.” While the only hurricanes making their way... Read more
BCPD Prepares for the Impending Arrival of Florida Man
Abroad October 26, 2018
MALONEY HALL — With the approach of tonight’s matchup against the Miami Hurricanes, most of the Boston College community is ready to wind down the week by enjoying some good ol’ college football. However, the Boston College Police Department (BCPD) has been put on high alert as it prepares... Read more
GASSON COMMON — Punctuating their statement with long, pensive draws from their briars, a group of pipe-smoking students presented demands to the University administration on Thursday, citing the need for more sumptuous leather armchairs. The tweed-clad students stood behind a mahogany podium amid wisps of silver-blue smoke and decried... Read more
Tailgating Parents Totally Unaware That Lilly Is Blacked Out
FreshmenSportsStudent Life October 24, 2018
MOD LOT — Staggering around her roommate’s friend’s tailgate, Lilly Carter (MCAS ’22) reported that game days were her favorite because “none of these parents can even tell I’m shithoused!” An avid football fan, Carter woke up at 8:30 AM to start ripping shots of vodka and sipping spiked... Read more