Aging Sophomore Can’t Drink Like She Used To
Drinking November 29, 2018
90 SAINT THOMAS MORE RD. — In a groggy haze, Sarah Flaunder (MCAS ‘21) came to the harrowing realization last Saturday that she can’t handle as much alcohol as she could “back in her youth.” Between gulps of Gatorade, the 19-year-old reported that she had an “uncomfortable mix” of... Read more
CAB Holding Auditions For O’Neill Plaza Christmas Tree
HolidaysStudent Life November 28, 2018
This year’s contenders include Bjorn, a Norway spruce; Elrik, a Douglas fir; Gustav, a Lodgepole pine; and Alex (CSOM ‘19), a marketing major.
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THE ADDAZIO RESIDENCE – Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio may miss the team’s matchup against Syracuse after it was reported early Saturday morning that Addazio had still yet to be excused from Thursday’s Thanksgiving dinner table after refusing to eat the vegetables on his plate. While other... Read more
PARMA, ITALY — A Boston College student studying abroad at the University of Parma is being held in police custody after setting an entire bar on fire. Police reports indicate that the student, Candace Whiteshire (CSOM ‘20), smoked an entire pack of cigarettes before accidentally dropping a still-burning dart... Read more
Student Tour Guide Also Walks Backwards To Class
ServiceStudent Life November 19, 2018
GASSON QUAD — A number of Boston College students reported feelings of bewilderment Monday morning when Student Admission Program tour guide Devon Lin (MCAS ‘19) was seen walking backwards to class. “It was crazy,” said eyewitness sophomore Stewart Dent. “He traversed the entire campus without even looking behind him.... Read more
MCGUINN HALL — On Thursday, the Boston College Psychology Department released a study which concluded that there is a direct correlation between the number of stickers on a person’s laptop and the perception of the stickers as a part of his or her identity. After placing a collection of... Read more
Junior Loses Odds, Drops Out Of BC
Student Life November 14, 2018
LYONS HALL — Tomorrow, Quincy Fitzgerald (CSOM ‘20) will submit a withdrawal form to Boston College Student Services after losing a game of odds, 1 to 1000. Fitzgerald and his roommates, Corbin Godfrey (CSOM ‘20) and Preston Graham (LSOE ‘20), hosted a pre-game at their house on Foster Street... Read more
Naval ROTC Subdues Reservoir U-Boat Invasion
Student Life November 13, 2018
CHESTNUT HILL RESERVOIR — Twelve midshipmen in the Boston College Naval Reserve Officer Training Corp (NROTC) sunk a German U-Boat on Monday. The underwater craft was destroyed following an ambush during the cadets’ Veteran’s Day (Observed)-mandated recreational time. According to reports obtained by The New England Classic, the siege... Read more
Health Services Cures Smallpox Using Only Goody Bag Of Ibuprofen
Student Life November 12, 2018
2150 COMMONWEALTH AVE. — On Friday, University Health Services made a groundbreaking step forward in modern medicine: curing freshman Elijah Warren of smallpox using exclusively ibuprofen. Reports indicated that, although Warren’s flu-like symptoms visibly manifested on Monday morning, he was unable to schedule an appointment until Thursday at 8:00... Read more
Addazio Misses Full Week Of Practice After Dedicating Entire Schedule To Making College GameDay Sign
Addazio November 10, 2018
ALUMNI STADIUM — It was reported early Friday morning that Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio missed five consecutive practices this week after dedicating the entirety of his schedule to making a sign for ESPN’s College GameDay. The weekly pre-game show, which has served as a Saturday morning staple for... Read more