In an effort to recognize the different socio-economic realities of its alumni, Boston College is launching a new program that will allow the University to collect donations in the form of credit, check, or blood. The initiative was introduced on Tuesday as part of the “Greater Heights” fundraising campaign... Read more
Study Finds That 100% Of CoRo Residents Can “Sleep On My Couch Any Time”
Student Life October 1, 2018
WALSH HALL — Late Saturday night, Chris Naughton (CSOM ’21), of Walsh 705, learned that one of his close acquaintances and frequenters of his “lit” Walsh pre-games was a resident of Roncalli Hall on College Road. Upon discovering this, Naughton expressed his pity and told Mike DiGiacomo (MCAS ’21)... Read more
REPORT: Mom Just Didn’t Think You Were The “Weed-Smoking” Type
FreshmenStudent Life September 29, 2018
CHEVERUS HALL — Following an investigation of your underwear drawer and a tight-lipped discussion with Dad, a report published on Friday indicates that Mom just didn’t think you were the “weed-smoking type.” While settling in for their Parents’ Weekend visit, Mom reportedly opened your bureau to make sure you’d... Read more
ALUMNI STADIUM — With the Temple Owls in town to take on the 3–1 Eagles this weekend, head football coach Steve Addazio has reportedly reminded his team multiple times this week to “not embarrass him in front of his ex.” His ex, of course, refers to the Temple football... Read more
Student Reminds Friends Not To Swear This Weekend
Student Life September 28, 2018
WALSH HALL — Local student Brad Jones (MCAS ‘21) issued a general warning to his roommates today: don’t swear in front of his mom and dad, or else they’ll yell at him later. This announcement comes after last Wednesday’s revelation that the Jones family would be taking the entire... Read more
REPORT: Biology Majors Really Just Want The Carbon Cycle To Reclaim Them At This Point
Student Life September 27, 2018
HIGGINS HALL — A group of biology majors were recently found lying face down in the lawn surrounding the Saint Ignatius statue. Seen screaming into the grass awaiting the sweet release of death, the students had reportedly just taken their first organic chemistry exam. Similar to decomposing leaves in... Read more
RD Uses Fire Drill As Chance To Streak Through Building
Student Life September 26, 2018
90 ST. THOMAS MORE ROAD — The fire drill that occurred Tuesday evening began normally, as disheveled students shuffled outside while emergency vehicles appeared on-site to check rooms. The night took an interesting twist, however, when Resident Director Ted Michaels reportedly ripped off his clothes and tore down the... Read more
Boston College Officially Named State School Of New Jersey
Student Life September 25, 2018
TRENTON, N.J. — Fulfilling a campaign promise to provide greater educational opportunities for the people of his state, New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy announced on Tuesday that Boston College would officially be recognized as a state school of New Jersey. “It’s something that we’ve been mulling over for a... Read more
“I’m Definitely The Mom Of The Group,” Reports Woman Giving Birth In Walsh Hallway
SexStudent Life September 24, 2018
WALSH HALL — It was reported late Saturday night that Boston College sophomore, Mary Beaufor-Sax, went into labor in a corridor of Walsh Hall. Before she left for school, many of her small-town peers from Nazareth, Pa., were skeptical of what this single, college-aged woman would be able to... Read more
LOGAN AIRPORT — Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio may miss this Saturday’s game against Purdue after refusing to board the team plane to Indiana earlier this morning. While the reason for his refusal to board the plane was initially in question, Coach Addazio was quick to clarify.... Read more