RA Candidate Found Stuck In Window After Fleeing Sophomore Party
90 ST. THOMAS MORE ROAD — Saturday night, 54% of Luke Oglethorpe (MCAS ‘21) was found hanging out of a window of 90 after resident assistants knocked on the door of the party he was attending.
Oglethorpe recently submitted his application to be a freshman RA and did not want a write-up tainting his chances of becoming one. Unfortunately, the residents who decided to throw the party live directly across from their RA, Angela, who is notoriously strict about noise because she is “studying for the MCAT.”
The Facebook event, titled “I Really Hope This Doesn’t Get Shut Down by RA’s Because That Would Suck If Someone Was Applying to Be an RA and Got Written Up,” had a total of 92 people going, with a total of 264 people invited. Oglethorpe did not think twice about the name of the party, but was hesitant to attend because his cute lab partner Justin J. Justin (MCAS ‘21) marked himself as going.
“I’ve never met anyone who makes apathy look so sexy,” said Oglethorpe. However, once convinced by his roommate that “this could be his chance,” he decided to attend the party.
One mixed drink and two Natty Lights later, Oglethorpe froze when there were several knocks at the door. He quickly ran to the farthest bedroom in the 8-man and opened the window. Unfortunately, the Boston College Police Department found him struggling to pull himself through.
Oglethorpe was allegedly screaming, “When I was 11, I turned 13 because fuck 12,” as they pulled him out of the window.
The Office of Residential Life has issued a statement claiming that anyone whose last name rhymes with “police report” will no longer be considered for the position of resident assistant.