Do Not Stand Idly By As BC Destroys Its Finest Cultural Institution
Here at The New England Classic, our editorial Sandwichboard rarely, if ever, directly comments on campus ongoings. In most normal situations, we believe that clever satire and silly photoshops can say a heck of a lot more than whatever comes out of soapbox shouting and editorial grandstanding.
Unfortunately, this is NOT a normal situation.
Yesterday, a foundational Boston College institution was unceremoniously defiled and destroyed. I’m not referring to Catholicism, hook-up culture, or even our administration’s dearly beloved institutional racism. What we lost yesterday was something truly at the core of the University’s cultural identity, a spark that I fear may never be recaptured or replaced.
They destroyed the Meatball Obsession stand. Those fucking madmen went ahead — without any debate or advance notice, mind you — and damned us all.
That beautiful yet unassuming shack on the outskirts of Corcoran Commons had been a facet of everyday campus life for countless generations of BC students. And now it’s gone, just like that.
Sure, I’ll be the first to admit that the beloved meat pagoda had fallen on tough times in recent years. But that doesn’t diminish the building’s storied, corn-fed history of excellence.
The four-walled freestanding structure that would later become the Meatball Obsession stand was initially constructed to house a different campus eatery, the suggestively named Beans, Creams and Dreams. This period is commonly referred to as “The Dark Ages” and will not be discussed in greater detail for fear of blasphemy.
And then, Meatball. From the moment they mounted the Meatball Obsession sign onto the shack in 2014, it was clear that life at Boston College would never be the same. Students near and far flocked to the stand with a renewed sense of purpose, and what drew them all in was one simple promise: If your grandma didn’t cook with it, you won’t find it here.
As the years went on, however, the student body got lazy, perhaps even complacent. We began worshipping false gods, such as mozz sticks, chicken tenders, and mint chocolate chip F’Reals. We were so busy saving Late Night that we forgot about Meatball. Our “obsession” subsided into devotion, then passion, and eventually mere interest. You cannot expect to make it in this cutthroat world with Meatball Interest alone.
The marinara sauce dried up, and it was only a matter of time until the powers that be realized that they could get away with destroying the last entirely pure thing in Chestnut Hill. Four construction workers, men who will surely go down in history as treacherous individuals who were “only following orders,” demolished our monument to Meatball in a matter of hours.
When I first heard the news, I didn’t believe it. When I saw it with my own eyes, I was furious. When I was restrained by a BCPD officer for attempting to stop the demolition, I wept. But now? Now I am hungry — for both meatballs and justice.
The Meatball Obsession stand may no longer exist on a physical level, but it will never be stripped from our hearts and souls if we choose to keep it there. Please join me and the greater BC community tonight at 8:00 PM for a candlelight vigil in honor of our beloved Meatball.
It would be foolish to expect anyone in a position of power at Boston College to acknowledge our movement and listen to our demands. But it would be equally foolish for the student body to remain complacent in the face of pure evil. Grandma taught us better than that.
I beg of you, do not stand idly by as Boston College destroys its finest cultural institution. We must come together, celebrate the life of our beloved meatball stand, and mourn its untimely demise. Because if we do not, I fear that it’s only a matter of time until they come for The Bean Counter. May the Lord have mercy on our souls if such an atrocity ever comes to pass.
They may have destroyed our shack, but they will never stamp out our Meatball Obsession. Rest in peace, you fucking legend.
Spice E. Meatball
Editor-in-Chief, The New England Classic