“At press time, hundreds of New Jerseryan students were queued up at the Newton Center Shell station, waiting for someone else to pump their gas.”
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Much like this year’s forbidden Thanksgiving gatherings nationwide, dinner on The Heights will be bland, tough to swallow, and overwhelmingly white.
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Five Things to Convert Your Friend’s Room Into After They Leave for Break
Campus CultureHolidays November 16, 2020
The number one request of all Boston College students from 2005-2019 has been more meat lockers available to undergrads.
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Red Bandana Game Canceled Amid Covid Concerns; BC Schedules Two 9/11s For 2021
Campus CultureLeahyWTF November 14, 2020
“To create a more equitable situation, as well as make up for lost revenue, BC will simply schedule two 9/11s for the 2021/22 football season.
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Developing: UIS Set to Dictate Whether Students Go to Heaven or Hell
SchoolStudent Life November 13, 2020
Next semester, students will have the opportunity to register for a class that will determine whether they will live forever in blessed communion with The Lord or find themselves chained to the infernal river in the dominion of Satan.
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Five Things To Talk About Now That The Election Is Over, And They’re All The Rat Line
Big IssuesCampus CultureSchoolStudent LifeUncategorized November 12, 2020
Six Polite Ways To Get Your Roommates To Stop Listening To Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving
Campus CultureHolidays November 10, 2020
“Have your roommates already started listening to Christmas music? If you answered ‘yes’ or ‘possibly’ or ‘I CANNOT THINK STRAIGHT ENOUGH TO READ THIS BECAUSE THAT CATCHY SNOWMISER/HEATMISER SONG FROM The Year Without a Santa Claus IS ALREADY STUCK IN MY HEAD,’ we have you covered with six polite ways to get your roommates to stop playing Christmas music so early.”
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“I AM LLIB YHAEL, ARBITER OF JUSTICE,” screamed the otherworldly abomination. “MY GUNS DISPERSE JUDGEMENT, MY SWORD CLEAVES IGNORANCE IN TWAIN!”
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