Roommate Who Spent Break In Miami Disappointed By University’s COVID Response
WALSH HALL — As the Spring semester kicks off, many students have expressed concerns regarding the administration’s strategy to keep COVID numbers low.
“As someone who spent all summer spreading awareness about the pandemic, I just hope that Boston College will continue to take it seriously,” Said Sue Perspreader (MCAS ’23). “The positivity rate this first week back is already a major cause for concern. ”
When asked about how she spent her time away from campus, Perspreader revealed she had, in fact, spent two weeks clubbing in Miami.
“But like it’s different for me. I wore TWO masks when I was on the plane. Except for when I was eating, sleeping, talking, or going to the bathroom. I bet Father Leahy doesn’t even wear a mask properly under normal circumstances.”
After an exhausting summer during which her Instagram story averaged 9 pandemic-related infographics a day, Perspreader felt as though this vacation was justified.
“I really carried the wellbeing of the community on my shoulders during this past summer… if it weren’t for me, I assure you things would be FAR worse. How else would my followers have known to socially distance or wear a mask?”
According to Perspreader, the nights she spent body-to-body with Miami hotties were far less risky than the conditions students are subject to in University dining halls.
“Sure I swapped spit with three strangers on the dance floor, but I never forgot to put hand sanitizer on after. I definitely come into more intimate contact with people waiting in line for my bowl at Eagles during the lunchtime rush.”
At press time, Perspreader was seen, maskless, ushering three guests into her Walsh 8-man.