10 Questions The Marriage Pact Missed
Campus CultureListsSex January 30, 2025
“The Classic set out to research: How can we make the Marriage Pact even more accurate? The following are additional questions that would guarantee 100% matches for all students across campus.”
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Theater Kid Friend Could’ve Gone Broadway If He Hadn’t Torn His ACL
Campus CultureFeaturedStudent Life January 29, 2025
Alas, one fateful day during his senior year production of SpongeBob: The Musical, Threat’s Broadway dreams were shattered when he broke a leg slipping on an unfortunately placed banana peel during final dress rehearsals.
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The only thing Gasom felt was a little rug burn down there. Little did she know, she would be confronted with this question again walking to class after debriefing her weekend escapades over a Chicken Parm Presser.
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The New England Classic is here to dispel the rumor that BU is infested with quintuple COVID-boosted, Judith Butler-loving liberals like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In fact, Boston University is a well-known right-wing safe haven in higher education.
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Trump To Rename Stokes Lawn “Lawn of America”
Big IssuesSchool January 23, 2025
However, when cruising across the lawn, Trump was appalled with the fact that Boston College, a school with so many of his supporters, would name such a pillar of campus after the wretched pursuit of liberal arts.
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TikTok Ban Edges America: We’ll See What’s to Come
Uncategorized January 22, 2025
“Insiders say that the TikTok CEO and American government were influenced by new sensation: ‘edging.'”
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Holy Kaiju! Democrats Unveil Mecha Luther King Jr. Ahead Of Trump Inauguration
Big IssuesWTF January 16, 2025
While it is unclear what kind of deal will be brokered between the US Government and King Ghidorah, conspiracy theories have gripped the nation about the impending Kaiju battle.
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“Gasson Quad was not untouched: in the middle lay a fresh snow angel, complete with wings, a priest collar, and a tree-trunk sized sleeve jutting from its crotch. “
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“Cultured” Students Return From Abroad: Campus Pickpocketing At A High
AbroadCampus Culture January 14, 2025
For those who stayed on campus in the Fall semester, get ready to lose your sanity hearing your acquaintance gab about their “eye-opening experiences”, along with maybe losing your wallet in your backpack when around them.
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How could this be? You’re 18 (literally an adult), and you are in college. No way your uptight parents aren’t going to let you get sloppy drunk on the best holiday of the year.
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