Fr. Butler Clarifies Last Name Not Due To Affinity For Service But Elitist Beliefs
Big IssuesSchool February 20, 2025
As Butler expounded on his life story, his motivations became clear. In kindergarten he was helping hold silver spoons in the mouths of trust fund kids, writing Santa to ask him to give his gift allotment to ExxonMobil, and drafting petitions in Sunday School asking the Pope to request a class system in Heaven.
Read more
Polyamorous Student Is Thrilled You Are Looking For An 8th
Dorm StuffSexWTF February 19, 2025
CSOM Student Forced To Withdrawal From “Introduction To Feminisms” After Stating Pronouns Are U/S/A
Campus Culture February 18, 2025
“‘Pronouns? Like a person, place, or thing? Oh yeah, I’ve got those nouns. They’re U/S/A actually,’ said Anizer while subtly flexing his straight-from-the-plex bicep pump.”
Read more
Shockingly, Smith, too, replied, “I also went to school in Boston too, but I dropped out! But it’s not the same school as Macklin!” seemingly embarrassed to associate himself with the biggest Beanpot chokers of the last decade and the dumbassery of a student section that held up a “BC SUCKS” flag.
Read more
As DEI Initiatives Unravel, BC Adds More Stairs
Big IssuesSchoolWTF February 7, 2025
“When there were ramps and stuff, it was such a challenge,” recalled Meath Ed (CSOM ’27), “it doesn’t really make sense how they work. Like how do I go up when there’s not a platform for me to step on?”
Read more
Instead, Uncle Brian will learn to rely on figures like hourglass, slim thick, and pear for the remainder of his collegiate years.
Read more
Lizrowmentic was taken aback. ‘Honestly it wasn’t the quote or the 272:3,400 followers to following ratio, it was the fact that he put the apostrophe in the wrong place of his class year,’ she said.
Read more
Groundhog Saw His Shadow: 6 More Weeks Without Commitment From Situationship
Big IssuesSex January 31, 2025
According to Hayter, the ideal targets are emotionally weak and romantically inexperienced, so those employing his methods should look for people with very Catholic upbringings.
Read more
10 Questions The Marriage Pact Missed
Campus CultureListsSex January 30, 2025
“The Classic set out to research: How can we make the Marriage Pact even more accurate? The following are additional questions that would guarantee 100% matches for all students across campus.”
Read more
Theater Kid Friend Could’ve Gone Broadway If He Hadn’t Torn His ACL
Campus CultureFeaturedStudent Life January 29, 2025
Alas, one fateful day during his senior year production of SpongeBob: The Musical, Threat’s Broadway dreams were shattered when he broke a leg slipping on an unfortunately placed banana peel during final dress rehearsals.
Read more