Alumni Parents Keep Hinting At Where They Used To Fuck
Sex October 1, 2017
BUSTNUT HILL — Freshman Jake O’Flannery (CSOM ‘21) was treated to a very special tour of Boston College this Parent’s Weekend when his mother, Erin O’Flannery (A&S ‘86), and father, Marcus O’Flannery (CSOM ‘86), brought him along to revisit all the places on the Heights where the couple used to... Read more
What To Do When Your Parents Sexile You On Parents’ Weekend
Sex September 30, 2017
CHESTNUT HILL, MA — Parents’ Weekend can be a very stressful time for both students and their parents. You may find that it’s hard to readjust to your parents after being away from home for so long. Your parents will probably find it’s difficult to not just rip off... Read more
Parents’ Weekend is a special time of year. The football game gets everyone’s spirits up, the weather is still nice and temperate, and seeing family is always something special. But let’s not forget what it’s really all about: ass. Hot Dad Ass. Sorry Mom, can’t talk right now, I... Read more
Ivy League Who? We Ranked The Top Colleges In America And Put BC First!
ListsStudent Life September 27, 2017
College ranking lists come out every fall, so it’s the perfect time to scroll through your Facebook and think “weird brag, dude” when some guy you went to high school with shares that his school is now “Ranked #35 in small-to-medium-sized sub-Saharan African zoology programs in the lower Midwest!”... Read more
Dog Walked On BC Campus Develops Quite The Ego
Student Life September 25, 2017
“It’s sad, really, that he’s letting it go to his head. Fame is a fickle friend indeed.”
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Off-Campus Basement Requires Alarmingly Few Changes To Become Murder Dungeon
Student Life September 24, 2017
FOSTER STREET — In the midst of a Saturday night shindig, party-goers at 269 Foster St. noted that the house’s poorly lit basement into which they had gathered required alarmingly few modifications to be turned into a subterranean dungeon in which to induce human suffering. Noting the cellar’s low ceilings, warped... Read more
Addazio Boards Comm Ave Bus Instead Of Team Bus To South Carolina, Will Miss Clemson Game
Addazio September 22, 2017
CONTE FORUM BUS STOP — With Saturday’s game against Clemson rapidly approaching, it looks as though the nationally unranked Boston College Eagles will be left coachless once more, following another bald-headed blunder from Head Honcho Steve “Scuba Steve” Addazio. Coach Addazio reported to Conte Forum at roughly 11:30 PM... Read more
UGBC Advances Legislation to Re-Name Stokes Bridge “The BC Taint”
Student Life September 21, 2017
GASSON 201 — In an unprecedented outpouring of student support, the UGBC general assembly reportedly passed a bill on Wednesday which would officially change the title of the bridge between Stokes North and South to “The BC Taint.” The Bridge, which had been advertised by the school as... Read more
Embarrassing: This Freshman Said “Have A Good Day Professor” To His Mom
FreshmenStudent Life September 20, 2017
CLAVER HALL — In a recent phone call home, freshman Dave McDoug (LSOE ‘21) reportedly bid farewell to his mother by saying “Have a good day, professor.” “God, I’m so embarrassed!” McDoug said in an interview. “I accidentally referred to the woman whose womb I once called home as... Read more
CSOM Student Has Business Casual Sex
Sex September 19, 2017
STAYER HALL — Carroll School of Management junior Dan Tribbiani reportedly engaged in business casual sex Saturday night. The hookup began at a Career Center event in Mod 12A. Upon arrival, Tribbiani hoped to improve his employment prospects and also maybe fuck. Once inside, he connected with Jessica Lange (CSOM... Read more