FITZAGA — Since the beginning of the school year, the all-male members of the first floor of Fitzaga have been staging a series of “Penis Monologues” which are expected to last indefinitely. The freshmen have clarified that this is not in response to the BC Women’s and Gender Studies... Read more
ALUMNI STADIUM — While overseeing football practice today, head coach Steve Addazio received a special delivery of a dozen red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Although Addazio claimed the treats “must be from a secret admirer,” members of the team are certain that their coach purchased them... Read more
Girlfriend Says “We Need To Be Men And Women For Seeing Other People”
SexStudent Life February 12, 2018
“I can’t believe she just decided to set our relationship aflame like that.”
Read more
Comedic Genius Leaves Witty Comment In Class Facebook Group
Student Life February 8, 2018
THE INTERNET — Eric Garnett (CSOM ‘20) was on a comedic tear in the Class of 2020 Facebook group last week after stumbling across multiple posts from people he knew. “If I see one of my friends post in the group, I automatically have to comment something funny and... Read more
Banana In Backpack Just Happy To Tag Along For The Ride
Student Life February 6, 2018
O’NEILL LIBRARY – After opening her backpack to get a textbook, Sally Yekaterinburg (MCAS ‘19) caught a glimpse of the banana she had packed that morning. “I try to bring a little something healthy to snack on between classes, but I’m not really feeling it right now,” reported Yekaterinburg... Read more
Office of Student Involvement Unveils “Receding Leader Program”
Freshmen February 5, 2018
CARNEY HALL — Citing a commitment to prepare students for realistic, stable career paths, the Office of Student Involvement unveiled a new program designed to impart incoming freshmen with all the necessary skills to spend the next 40-53 years of their lives as subordinates. “Here at OSI, we believe... Read more
Fr. Leahy Sees His Shadow, Avoids Condemning Racism For Six More Weeks
Big IssuesLeahy February 2, 2018
ST MARY’S HALL — This morning, Boston College president Fr. William P. Leahy emerged from his burrow, spotted his shadow, and retreated back inside in fear, signaling that he will not condemn racism for at least six more weeks. This is a trend that has persisted nearly every Groundhog... Read more
ST. MARY’S HALL — Father Kevin, S.J. and his team of competent, ethical elites have been working on something big. The Jesuits at Boston College, under the direction of the Human Resources Department have unveiled a new set of Jesuit values to replace the tired, old set everyone has... Read more
KOSTKA HALL — Late Sunday evening, Boston College freshman Gail Blatter took to the Official Boston College Class of 2021 Facebook group to list one of her kidneys for sale. The post read, “Selling one of my kidneys! Near perfect condition, almost like new. Willing to negotiate price. Message me... Read more
New Classes For Street-Smart Students To Be Held On Comm Ave.
School January 25, 2018
COMMONWEALTH AVE. — The Office of the University Core announced Thursday that Boston College students would soon have the opportunity to enroll in courses taught directly on Commonwealth Avenue. The classes, held in the middle of Boston’s beltway during rush hour, signals a key step in the University’s efforts to... Read more