Last Reference To Hopes And Dreams Deleted From Resume
Student Life December 18, 2017
CHESTNUT HILL — Driven by the fear of looking unprofessional and a desire to convey maturity, Boston College junior Flynn Carter deleted the line “Assistant Director – 2015 Libertyville High Musical” from his resume Monday night. Like many juniors in the midst of the summer internship hunt, Carter realized... Read more
Report: Lonely Student Probably Not Using That Chair
Student Life December 16, 2017
EAGLE’S NEST — A study done by the Boston College Sociology department revealed that the lonely student a few tables over from you in the Rat is most likely not using that chair. “Are you using this chair?” asked participants in the study to students sitting alone in the... Read more
Introducing… SandwichBot3000!
WTF December 16, 2017
After months of development, The NEC is finally debuting our new artificial intelligence technology SandwichBot3000, an automated content generating system capable of writing humor articles even faster than before! We are still working out a few bugs, but we’re confident we’ll have a fully automated writing staff by 2024.... Read more
Catholic Church Relieved To Not Be Only Institution With History Of Male Sexual Misconduct
Big IssuesJesuits December 16, 2017
VATICAN CITY — In a surprise press conference last week, Pope Francis weighed in on the growing series of sexual assault and harassment scandals that have been breaking with alarming regularity for the past few months. Speaking from deep within the Apostolic Palace, the Pope commended the brave women... Read more
BREAKING: Beer, Wine Sales Expanded To St. Ignatius Sunday Mass
JesuitsStudent Life December 1, 2017
ST. IGNATIUS CHURCH — On Friday morning, the Parish of St. Ignatius of Loyola announced that it would begin expanding its communion offerings to all parish masses starting with the 10:00 AM service this Sunday, December 3. This decision appears to have been inspired by the recent actions of... Read more
OPINION: Muscle Diagrams At The Plex Set Unrealistic Standards For BC’s Muscled Hunks
Opinion November 20, 2017
There’s been a lot of talk at BC lately surrounding body image and self-esteem, and I think it’s time we address the elephant in the room: the impossible-to-achieve muscle diagrams featured on every machine in the Flynn Recreation Complex. Is this really the standard we want to be setting... Read more
FENWAY PARK — Stating that they always knew this was a possibility, sources within BC Athletics report that head coach Steve Addazio is expected to miss this weekend’s football game against UConn due to his immense phobia of the “Green Monster.” While ardent Boston sports fans may know that the Green... Read more
Freshman Can’t Sleep With The Thought Of 48Hours Roommate Being With Someone Else
Freshmen November 16, 2017
CHEVERUS HALL — In the weeks following his 48Hours retreat to Plymouth, Massachusetts, freshman Derek Smalls (CSOM ‘21) has developed severe insomnia. Sources close to Smalls report that his inability to sleep is due to the fact that he misses the warmth of his 48Hours bedmate’s body next to... Read more
Anxious Junior Worried She Might Step Outside Comfort Zone Abroad
AbroadStudent Life November 15, 2017
FOSTER STREET — Rachel Weber (MCAS ’19) has been planning her spring semester in Parma, Italy for months now. However, as she begins to think about what her time abroad will bring, the nerves are starting to set in. “I know it will be okay,” explained Weber, who will... Read more
Students Complain College Curriculum Getting In The Way Of Sleepaway Camp
FreshmenStudent Life November 14, 2017
CHESTNUT HILL — The Office of Student Services has reported a major increase in the volume of complaints in the past 14 days. Calls and emails have been pouring in from distraught students from Walsh to Newton Campus complaining that the school work being assigned to them is interfering with... Read more