Perpetual Penis Monologues Taking Place On First Floor Fitzaga
FITZAGA — Since the beginning of the school year, the all-male members of the first floor of Fitzaga have been staging a series of “Penis Monologues” which are expected to last indefinitely.
The freshmen have clarified that this is not in response to the BC Women’s and Gender Studies Department’s production of The Vagina Monologues, an annual, weekend-long event that promotes reclaiming women’s bodies and sexuality by women themselves.
The young men of Fitzaga stated that they simply want to share stories about their penises with their hallmates and anyone else interested for the foreseeable future.
Timothy Bradley (MCAS ‘21) began his monologue with a lengthy description of his phallus.
“My penis is just about average-sized, but I’m a grower, not a shower. My roommate John can vouch for me on that,” said Bradley.
Sam Fonzier (CSOM ‘21) is one of the organizers of the ongoing Penis Monologues. According to him, the purpose of this constant penis discussion is to expand awareness of penises and penis-related needs.
“For example, one time I was lying down while jacking off, and when I came my semen splashed me in the eye. It burned, and my eye was red for a really long time. Now I wear goggles whenever I masturbate,” said Fonzier.