Leahy Attends Student Involvement Fair: ‘This Is The Semester I Put Myself Out There’
STOKES LAWN — Fr. Leahy was spotted perusing tables at the Student Activities Fair this afternoon in a reported attempt to “branch out” and “try new things” for the new semester. “I’m tired of being this detached, ivory-tower figure. It’s high time I got involved with the students whose families have sacrificed so much to pay for their education and my grass,” said Fr. Leahy. “This is my year. I’m going to put myself out there!”
In addition to snatching up pamphlets and candy from various student-run organizations, Leahy quietly made his way through screaming upperclassmen and wide-eyed freshmen and added his name to nearly every club’s email list, and promised to attend dozens of interest meetings and auditions, many of which may conflict with his full-time job as president of the University.
Several eyewitnesses stated that Leahy was seamlessly mingling with freshmen and upperclassmen alike, revealing that he loves to “keep an open mind” and, while hard work is important to him, he also understands the intangible value of engaging with other people through shared hobbies and social activities. “He wants to have more fun and do less fundraising,” said a high-ranking administrator who wished to remain anonymous. “We’ve been pushing him to put himself out there for about ten years now, I’m thrilled to see he’s finally mustered up the courage to do it.”
“I get that the guy wants to make new friends while getting involved with on-campus activities, but he is gonna regret it in two weeks when his inbox is flooded with hundreds of emails and google forms that he’ll never open,” claimed Jillingham Gorge, CSON ‘17, senior and president of The Aimless Wanderers (TAW), BC’s only group of hopeless meandering vagabonds whose slogan “We Will Roam Until We Fall” has freshmen signing up left and right. “But hey, I hope he shows up to our first wandering event!”
Fr. Leahy, whose decision to become more involved on campus stems from his reputation as a distant president, has extremely high hopes for expanding his interests this year. Most notably, he plans to audition for all of the 12 a cappella groups at Boston College. “Most freshmen only audition for two or three a cappella groups, so it was shocking to hear that Fr. Leahy, leader of everything divine and holy at Boston College, was planning to audition for all 13 groups,” said Laura Hickney, MCAS ‘18. (A new a cappella group, The Deep Throats, reportedly just formed as Leahy was browsing the Student Activities Fair). “There are a lot of a cappella groups on this campus,” announced Hickney.
At press time, there were still a lot of a cappella groups on this campus. A lot.