Articles | Page 44 of 94 | The New England Classic

“That’s Not A Buick,” Reports Student Staring At Buick

Big Issues Student Life February 10, 2021

“What, the black one? With the big front grill? Tinted windows? Four-door? V6? Looks about ‘08, ‘09 maybe? Apple CarPlay™? Rear-wheel drive? Automatic heated seats? Yeah, that’s not a Buick bro, nice try” Ford exclaimed to the Buick’s owner.

New Narcissus? This Kid Pins His Own Video

Coronavirus Student Life February 9, 2021

LOWER CAMPUS — Sources say a Boston College student has fallen in love with his own reflection after learning that Zoom allows users to “pin” their videos during meetings. “Who is that guy?” said Hugh Jeego (CSOM ’22) to himself in a virtual interview with The Classic. “He has... Read more

What The Fuck: Roommate Just Took The Lord’s Name In Vain

Freshmen Student Life WTF February 8, 2021

“I honestly couldn’t believe it,” said Arist. “I mean sure, I may have instigated it by calling him a fat-ass mistake of a human being, but like taking the Lord’s name in vain? That’s just too fucking far, man.”

Roommate Who Spent Break In Miami Disappointed By University’s COVID Response

Campus Culture Coronavirus February 5, 2021

WALSH HALL — As the Spring semester kicks off, many students have expressed concerns regarding the administration’s strategy to keep COVID numbers low. “As someone who spent all summer spreading awareness about the pandemic, I just hope that Boston College will continue to take it seriously,” Said Sue Perspreader... Read more

CAB To Give Out FastPasses For Dining Hall Lines

Campus Culture Student Life February 4, 2021

CORCORAN COMMONS — Lengthy lines at campus dining halls have left many Boston College students hungry for quicker service to fill their rumbling tummies. Lines at Lower, Mac, and Stuart this past week were longer than ever as students returned to campus. Luckily, in their weekly email full of... Read more

Going Baby On Baby? Nursing Student Helps Deliver Twins

School Service Student Life WTF February 3, 2021

LONGWOOD MEDICAL AREA — Anna Dababski (CSON ’22), a junior on clinical rotation with the OB/GYN department of Brigham and Women’s Hospital, played a crucial role last Thursday in aiding a mother through the birth of her first born baby. As it turned out, however, there was another one... Read more

COVID Cases Spike After UGBC Distributes Identical Water Bottles

Coronavirus Student Life WTF February 2, 2021

CONTE FORUM — Following students’ return to campus for the Spring 2021 semester, the Undergraduate Government of Boston College came under fire this week with the recent spike in undergraduate COVID-19 cases becoming increasingly linked to the governing body’s mass distribution of identical water bottles. In what many are... Read more

Uh Oh: This Textbook Was Previously Owned By An Idiot

Uncategorized February 1, 2021

“At this point, I just hope the shit-for-brains responsible gets the help that they so clearly need.”

TRAGIC: Roommate May Have Voted Libertarian

Big Issues Student Life December 12, 2020

“See?” explained Harris, donning a blue “I’m Still With Her” baseball cap and adjusting a framed “Kennedy/Johnson” poster. “These are real positions, worthwhile opinions. It’s so hard to see out-of-date, ridiculous views like hers making headlines.”

OIP Announces New External Program With Galactic Federation

Abroad WTF December 11, 2020

“Not once in four millennia have we encountered a species whose diet consists entirely of carbohydrates and fermented grains, and yet is capable of such emotional overstimulation.”