Articles | Page 10 of 87 | The New England Classic

Stokes Set Artist Unavailable: There are No Men I Trust

Campus Culture Student Life September 6, 2024

“The Classic scoured up and down campus all week, searching for Men We Trust, but we are sad to report the search came up empty.”

Students Mistakenly Tailgate At Duchesne, May Miss Duquesne Game

Addazio Newton Sports September 5, 2024

A typographical error on a Newton Bus sign reading “Beat Duchesne” made them think the Eagles were playing in their dorm hall.

“4 Years Flew By” Says Senior Who Blacks Out 3x A Week

Drinking Student Life May 18, 2024

UNCONSCIOUSNESS — With the school year coming to a close, the BC Class of 2024 has been reminiscing about their college experience. As they think about all the nights in Bapst, all the TikToks they watched instead of studying in Bapst, all the shameful walk homes from Bapst, they... Read more

NEC Has The Drive To Make Important Change, But Administration Won’t Let Us Turn The Res Into A Lazy River

Opinion Student Life April 26, 2024

The students’ planned for all 37 members of the organization to swim in the same clockwise direction to create a “whirlpool.” Once the water really got rushing, they would throw a few inner tubes in for regular students to enjoy.

Troy Bolton? Fowler Forced To Choose Between Love For Tap Dancing And Hockey

Campus Culture Sports April 11, 2024

“I’m petrified,” said Jacob Fowler (CSOM ‘27) “People know me for who I am on the ice, but I feel most myself on the stage…The rhythm of my shoes clicking and clacking as I hop and prance, it’s the most electric feeling.”

Slimers Stuns at Green Careers Night

Campus Culture April 10, 2024

“In a shock to all, Slimer, the Mean Green Ghost from Ghostbusters, slithered into Gasson 100 to stun the Green employers and alumni.”

LTE From The Moon Club President

Campus Culture LTE WTF April 8, 2024

Everyone won’t shut up about summer and tanning and blah blah blah. Who fucking cares! Get some sun on the quad on a different day, I just want to get high in the afternoon and watch that shit cover the sun. Stay pale, I literally dare you.

Barrel of Oil To Replace Baldwin As BC Mascot

Uncategorized April 6, 2024

ST. EXXON CHAPEL– BC University Spokesman Jack Dunn issued a statement on Friday announcing the historic mascot change: Baldwin the Eagle will be replaced with Barry the Oil Barrel, with the university rebranding their students’ moniker from the well-known “Eagles” to the new and more provocative “Barrels.” “We hope... Read more

Leahy Announces Complete Deforestation Of Newton Woods To Prevent Lame Parties

Leahy Newton April 4, 2024

Ax observed the tree’s inability to photosynthesize following second hand Mango Crave exposure, along with root rot from pure cringe. “You don’t need to be a scientist to know that hearing Doses and Mimosas every weekend isn’t good for ecological sustainability.”

BC Raises Cost Of Attendance To 88k, Fifty Cattle, Pound Of Gold, Firstborn Son

School April 3, 2024

“‘Bounties that must be paid to the University starting next year include fifty of a student’s finest cows, one pound of pure gold, the hearts of four Boston University students, the deed to a Cape Cod beach house, a left kidney, and a one-page supplemental essay assuring Father Leahy that he is doing a great job'”