Stokes Set Artist Unavailable: There are No Men I Trust

CAB HEADQUARTERS — Every year the Campus Activity Board (CAB) of Boston College puts on a once in a lifetime concert known as Stokes Set. Following last year’s performance of COIN, campus has been eagerly awaiting for this year’s artist announcement. 

The artist selection process for this event takes months of research, deliberation, and scrounging. The artist chosen must meet a long list of qualifications including (and most importantly) having one (1)  song that is only popular because it trended on Tik Tok with the hashtag #indiemusic. 

The Classic anxiously awaited the announcement of the 2024 Stokes Set artist this past week. We had our suspicions (Lil Dicky) but were shocked to find the Stokes Set artist was seemingly non-existent. The Classic scoured up and down campus all week, searching for Men We Trust, but we are sad to report the search came up empty. 

Contenders for possible Men We Trust included Bill O’Brien, that one hot professor, and The Bear, however this was not enough to put on a show stopping concert for a sea of too-drunk freshmen. With only two and a half men we trust all across campus there will be no Stokes Set artist for the Fall of 2024.

At press time, CAB representatives were seen looking up “Cheapest most affordable college concert artists” on Google, landing on “ Doug Flutie x Nugenix: Live.”

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