Student Vapers Decide To Play It Safe And Chain Smoke Cigarettes
Big IssuesBostonCampus Culture September 26, 2019
RICHDALE FOOD SHOPS — After Governor Charlie Baker finalized the state-wide vape ban on Tuesday, Boston College Juulers announced their plans to take the “responsible course of action” and begin chain smoking cigarettes until electronic vaping devices are declared completely safe. “I know exactly how horrible cigarettes are for... Read more
Feminism Win: This Woman Slept With Her Professor To Get A Better Grade, But Didn’t Let Him Finish
SchoolSexStudent Life September 25, 2019
STOKES HALL 324S — Late Monday evening, young feminist Natasha Meyer (CSOM ’21) delivered a major blow to the patriarchy by sleeping with her professor to receive a better grade on an exam — without letting him finish. After receiving a failing midterm grade, Meyer wasted no time in... Read more
Innocent Virgin Grass Gets Pounded By 2,500 Co-Eds
SexStudent Life September 23, 2019
STOKES LAWN — 2,500 hot college teens had their way with Boston College’s best piece of grass this weekend at the annual Stokes Set concert. Never before have we seen grass get slammed like this. Hugh Johnson (CSON ‘22) was one of the many students all up in the... Read more
Roommate’s Sex Playlist Has Too Many Disney Songs
Dorm StuffResLife September 19, 2019
VANDERSLICE HALL — Elizabeth Maretti (MCAS ’22) was reportedly extremely uncomfortable Saturday evening when her roommate’s boyfriend stayed the night. “I mean first of all the common room couches do not offer much back support, and also my childhood was ruined,” Maretti said of roommate’s sex playlist consisting of... Read more
Psych Major Drops Out: “I’m Tired Of This Neuroscience B.S.”
SchoolStudent Life September 18, 2019
HIGGINS HALL — Senior neuroscience major Emma McArthur reportedly threw in the towel on Tuesday evening and decided to drop out of Boston College just two semesters away from completing her degree. The night of the breakdown, McArthur was sitting in her Psychophysiology Of Stress class. Classmates on the... Read more
Shocking: 23andMe Results Reveal Baldwin The Eagle Is 12% Hawk
SportsStudent Life September 17, 2019
The test results also showed trace amounts of falcon and beagle. BC students reported feeling “shocked”, “upset”, and “aroused.”
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ALUMNI STADIUM MEDIA ROOM — It was reported early Saturday morning that members of the Boston College maintenance crew have begun work to patch up the Steve Addazio-sized hole in the wall of the Alumni Stadium media room following the head coach’s post-game press conference at the conclusion of... Read more
Fucking Idiot In Mailroom Doesn’t Know Shelf Number
Dorm StuffStudent Life September 16, 2019
WALSH HALL — Certified idiot Max Mortimer (CSOM ‘22) arrived at the Walsh mailroom Friday afternoon intending to somehow pick up a package without knowing his shelf number. Bystanders and mailroom employees looked on as Mortimer searched his email for the vital code like a dumbass. “Uh, I have... Read more
“For Boston, For Boston Hummdssaee Freahain” Sings Student Body
SportsStudent Life September 11, 2019
ALUMNI STADIUM — Following a Boston College Eagles’ touchdown against the Richmond Spiders last Saturday, hundreds of football fans broke into a celebratory rendition of the school’s fight song. Stephen Montgomery (CSOM ‘23) and his friends from Keyes South proudly sang the first two lines of the song they... Read more
Plexus Mortuus: Remembering The William J. Flynn Recreation Complex
Campus CultureSports September 10, 2019
Behold me razed to rubble mounds, My iv’ry peaks reduced to dust; Proudly raised to touch the clouds, I now return to earthen crust. See there my heir of Margot’s name, Who scowls upon my shambled wreck, Who cruelly saw me fit to maim And brought the blade upon... Read more