The New England Classic
Science Major Loses Voice After Complaining About Workload
Biochemistry major Michael O’Malley (A&S ’18) completely lost his voice yesterday (or, as he called it, “contracted mild laryngitis”) after spending hours complaining to his friends about how hard it is to major in the sciences, especially biochemistry. O’Malley is no stranger to complaining about the massive textbooks and heavy... Read more
Boston College RAs Now Checking IDs for Church Wine
In keeping with its mission to be one of the safest college campuses in the country, Boston College announced last week that it would begin having RAs card students attempting to receive communion at any on-campus mass. The proposal was initially brought forth by Sarah Loffeler, A&S ‘18, who... Read more
BU Holds “Rejected Eagles Day”
As Boston College welcomes prospective members of the class of 2019 on campus today for Admitted Eagles Day, Boston University will be hosting its first-ever Rejected Eagles Day. “The Terriers are barking with excitement about our inaugural Rejected Eagles Day,” said Boston University president and L. Ron Hubbard doppelganger... Read more
Carney Hall Files Divorce Proceedings with Boston College
In a move long-expected since the completion of Stokes Hall in 2013, Carney Hall announced today its intent to go ahead with filing its divorce papers in the Middlesex County Divorce Court with Boston College, its partner in matrimony since 1963.  Citing only at first “irreconcilable differences,” later questioning... Read more
Boston College RAs Write Up Unsuspecting Neighbors in Cancun Hotel
Four friends, who happen to be Resident Advisors at Boston College, are spending their spring break at The Oasis Hotel in beautiful Cancun, Mexico. Though they welcome the hiatus from classes, they have promised not to let their vacation interfere with their duties as RAs. These heroes have taken... Read more
Students Go Rogue In Search Of “The Kirkwood Tickler”
After a semester with minimal incidents of the “Kirkwood Tickler” breaking and entering into off-campus homes, doubts are arising among Chestnut Hill residents that such a fiend actually exists. Because of this, a group of Boston College students gained school funding over winter break to begin their own Private... Read more
Odd-numbered Friend Group Struggles to Complete 8-man
As the housing lottery quickly approaches, the anxiety of freshmen across campus has spiked. Freshmen have the option of several housing arrangements on Lower Campus, namely the coveted 8-mans of Vanderslice Hall, 90 St. Thomas More, and Walsh Hall.  These palaces of debauchery and sweat represent the epitome of... Read more
Fr. Bill Leahy, SJ: “I’m the most badass president in Boston”

“We’re having school today, and I’m fucking amped about it. A little snow never hurt anyone.”

Read more
BC Volunteer Organizations Strive for Top High School Recruits on National Signing Day
With National Signing Day season upon high school athletes everywhere, much of the usual will be going on in the so-called “War Rooms” of the Boston College Athletic Department: BC Football will be looking for someone who can make an extra point, BC hockey will be looking for some... Read more
Athlete Loses Backpack in Snow, Again
“God dammit, not again,” said baseball player and A&S ’16 communications major Alexander O’Neill while on his knees digging through the snow near Edmonds Hall, looking for his white backpack. “I swear I put it down here somewhere.” “I just put it down for like one minute, and then,... Read more