Newly Accepted Club Member Misinterprets Kidnapping For Kinky Sexual Roleplay
FENWICK HALL — Boston College a capella group The Bostonians continued their long-standing tradition of “kidnapping” newly accepted members from their dorm rooms last Tuesday night. But the usually lighthearted tradition took an unexpected turn when one new member reportedly misinterpreted the situation as an extreme sexual roleplay, leading to an awkward situation for everyone involved.
Bostonian president Jack Singer (CSOM ‘20) and music director Tony Operaman (MCAS ‘20) made their way over to Fenwick 214 to pick up their newly accepted member, Bryan Daniel SanMartino (MCAS ‘23). They knocked on the door, asked for Bryan, and then told him he was accepted into the Bostonians and that they were kidnapping him and bringing him somewhere. This, however, was where things started to get strange.
“He ran out of the room excitedly and stood face-first against the hallway wall with both hands behind his back, telling me to get the handcuffs on quickly,” said Operaman. “When I told him to stop, he said, ‘Uh oh, have I been bad??? Do I deserve a spanking?’”
Singer and Operaman said they just decided to ignore this and took SanMartino out to their car, to bring him to initiation. However, rather than getting in the back seat, SanMartino reportedly told them to open the trunk and “throw him in like a rag doll.”
“When I told him to shut up, he said, ‘Make me’, and then pulled a roll of duct tape out of his back pocket,” said Singer. “By this point, Tony and I had had enough, so we grabbed him by his collar and dragged him back to his room. The moans he let out when we did that were honestly smoother than most of our singing voices.”
At press time, SanMartino was seen being kicked out of the Sexual Chocolate auditions, having reportedly poured a full can of Hershey’s syrup on his chest and told everyone to “dig in.”