Mod Grills Migrate South For Winter

CHESTNUT HILL, MA — In one of the region’s most celebrated natural phenomena, Boston College’s native genus of outdoor cooking apparatus took to the skies on Monday morning, beginning their annual exodus to the sun-drenched concrete of Florida State University. Having come to the end of their three-month tailgating season, the grills will travel more than 1,000 miles, seeking sanctuary and regular use for the coming winter months.

“These grills play a truly integral role in Boston College’s social ecosystem,” explained Marco DePéngins (MCAS ‘20), a resident of Mod 12B. “During the high season, they’re really the central watering hole for everything within a 2-mile radius.”

Students and faculty flocked to the ruins of the former Flynn Recreational Complex to watch the event. One attendee, biology professor Mira Katmanor, noted that the migration “represents the single largest seasonal relocation of any charcoal-based appliance,” and added that a deeper study of the grills’ anatomy could “revolutionize the academy’s view of natural-casing vs. no-casing weiners.”

At press time, members of EcoPledge were also seen mounting cameras around a number of Blue Light stations, anticipating their unpredictable and unresolved periods of hibernation. 

More Hot Single Sandwiches NEAR YOU:

REPORT: Fun Roommate Not In Room Fucking Idiot In Mailroom Doesn’t Know Shelf Number OPINION: If My Roommate Doesn’t Stop Coughing I’m Going To Drop Out Of School Roommate Thinks She Can Just Come Into The Room Whenever She Wants