Student Spontaneously Combusts After Playing Music Without Headphones in Library
Old ArticlesStudent Life May 7, 2015
Earlier this afternoon, Ann Fire (A&S ‘16) spontaneously combusted into a ball of flame and debris after she started to stream Hilary Duff’s “Coming Clean” on the fifth floor of O’Neill library without inserting her headphones first. Hoping to save the day, the Boston Fire Department rushed to the... Read more
Lynch Sophomore Hoping for 4 Gold Stars on Final; Would Settle for 3
Old ArticlesSchoolStudent Life May 5, 2015
With an important final exam season quickly approaching, Kelly O’Connor (LSOE ‘17) is buckling down for the last stretch of her studies. O’Connor emphasized that her entire semester grades were riding on her Family, School, & Society final exam: If she averages 4 gold stars on her final, then... Read more
Science Major Loses Voice After Complaining About Workload
FreshmenOld ArticlesStudent Life May 1, 2015
Biochemistry major Michael O’Malley (A&S ’18) completely lost his voice yesterday (or, as he called it, “contracted mild laryngitis”) after spending hours complaining to his friends about how hard it is to major in the sciences, especially biochemistry. O’Malley is no stranger to complaining about the massive textbooks and heavy... Read more
In keeping with its mission to be one of the safest college campuses in the country, Boston College announced last week that it would begin having RAs card students attempting to receive communion at any on-campus mass. The proposal was initially brought forth by Sarah Loffeler, A&S ‘18, who... Read more
BU Holds “Rejected Eagles Day”
Old Articles April 12, 2015
As Boston College welcomes prospective members of the class of 2019 on campus today for Admitted Eagles Day, Boston University will be hosting its first-ever Rejected Eagles Day. “The Terriers are barking with excitement about our inaugural Rejected Eagles Day,” said Boston University president and L. Ron Hubbard doppelganger... Read more
In a move long-expected since the completion of Stokes Hall in 2013, Carney Hall announced today its intent to go ahead with filing its divorce papers in the Middlesex County Divorce Court with Boston College, its partner in matrimony since 1963. Citing only at first “irreconcilable differences,” later questioning... Read more
Boston College RAs Write Up Unsuspecting Neighbors in Cancun Hotel
Old ArticlesStudent Life March 2, 2015
Four friends, who happen to be Resident Advisors at Boston College, are spending their spring break at The Oasis Hotel in beautiful Cancun, Mexico. Though they welcome the hiatus from classes, they have promised not to let their vacation interfere with their duties as RAs. These heroes have taken... Read more
Students Go Rogue In Search Of “The Kirkwood Tickler”
Old Articles February 13, 2015
After a semester with minimal incidents of the “Kirkwood Tickler” breaking and entering into off-campus homes, doubts are arising among Chestnut Hill residents that such a fiend actually exists. Because of this, a group of Boston College students gained school funding over winter break to begin their own Private... Read more
Odd-numbered Friend Group Struggles to Complete 8-man
FreshmenStudent Life February 12, 2015
As the housing lottery quickly approaches, the anxiety of freshmen across campus has spiked. Freshmen have the option of several housing arrangements on Lower Campus, namely the coveted 8-mans of Vanderslice Hall, 90 St. Thomas More, and Walsh Hall. These palaces of debauchery and sweat represent the epitome of... Read more
“We’re having school today, and I’m fucking amped about it. A little snow never hurt anyone.”
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