The New England Classic
Science Major Loses Voice After Complaining About Workload
Biochemistry major Michael O’Malley (A&S ’18) completely lost his voice yesterday (or, as he called it, “contracted mild laryngitis”) after spending hours complaining to... Science Major Loses Voice After Complaining About Workload

Biochemistry major Michael O’Malley (A&S ’18) completely lost his voice yesterday (or, as he called it, “contracted mild laryngitis”) after spending hours complaining to his friends about how hard it is to major in the sciences, especially biochemistry. O’Malley is no stranger to complaining about the massive textbooks and heavy workload that come with taking science courses. However, the recent spike in his work at the end of the semester caused him to constantly remind all of his friends about the plight of being on the pre-med track that other majors “just don’t understand.”

“He actually wouldn’t shut the fuck up, and he ended up losing his voice, which is actually pretty hilarious,” said O’Malley’s roommate Tony Pizzarella (A&S ’18), an English major. “It’s like, we get it, Mike. You have a lot of work. You’re a smart kid. But just shut up and do it, everyone has homework. Not just you. You don’t hear me complaining that I had to read six novels this semester for a class.”

O’Malley was unavailable for comment because of his lack of the ability to speak, but he did use a complex series of hand signals and groans to emotionally express his discontent with his overwhelming workload.

At press time, O’Malley was tweeting about all of the pain in his “pharynx and larynx.”