Student Life Archives | Page 11 of 40 | The New England Classic

“I Have No Idea Why Everyone Is Sick” Says Classmate Who Just Spat In Your Mouth

Coronavirus Student Life October 22, 2022

Guy Grossie (CSOM ’23) can’t seem to wrap his head around how illness spreads, or his coloring homework. Grossie, of course, has also fallen victim to the “throat tickle.” He describes the ordeal as “not too bad,” describing it as “a sore throat for only a couple months, debilitating fatigue, and a gnarly cough.”

Passive Aggressive Roommate Posts All Her BeReals While Cleaning

Dorm Stuff ResLife Student Life October 20, 2022

Nadia Mohm (Lynch ‘23), fed up with the five other slobs she cohabitates with, has enacted the strategy of exclusively posting pictures of her cleaning up after them around the apartment.

Addies-Adjacent Dining Location “Subtracties” To Open On Campus

Big Issues Student Life October 14, 2022

This past weekend, Addies was humbled as a new dining location “Subtracties” opened up straight across the Lower plaza.

5 Rights You Need To Know Before Appearing In Homecoming Court

Campus Culture Lists Student Life October 7, 2022

Before appearing in homecoming court on Friday, be sure to remember these FIVE Constitutionally-protected legal rights. Don’t let your freedom be compromised!

Squash Team Eagerly Awaits Selection At Fall Harvest

Campus Culture Sports Student Life October 6, 2022

For the past ten years, BC squashes have consistently been rated #1 in plumpness, #3 in unwarranted big ego, and #867 in general wanker-ness by the New England Parental Organization of Talented International Squash Mothers (N.E.P.O.T.I.S.M.).

Local Inventor Excited About Patents Weekend

Campus Culture Student Life September 27, 2022

“I could’ve sworn I heard it was Patents Weekend. I thought it would be a good networking opportunity to put my name on a larger, global map,” Gadget confessed. “Now I have all of my thingamabobs and whos-its with me for nothing.”

ICYMI: Kyle Leads 3-Hour Game Of ISpy

Campus Culture Student Life WTF September 26, 2022

Kyle began, binoculars in hand: “I spy with my little eye… something green!” obviously referring to the t-shirt of someone in the 3rd row.

Phil Jurkovec Spotted At Business Career Fair

Sports Student Life September 23, 2022

After witnessing several muffed handoffs and fumbles of his resume, the Classic was able to obtain a copy. The resume included several of Jurkovec’s biggest accomplishments including his former attendance of Notre Dame, graduating high school, and duping a whole fan base into believing he was the next Matt Ryan (MCAS ’08).

BC Dining Combats Ingredient Inflation, Introduces Lettuce Sandwich

Student Life September 21, 2022

Down 3%, lettuce has proven to be a Northern Star in the world of rampant price increases. With that news, BCDS decided to put the new Lettuce Sandwich on their daily menu and sell it for just $8.99!

Pre-Law Student Accused Of Doctoring Roommate Agreement

Dorm Stuff Student Life September 19, 2022

“I’m just an easy target because I’m a pre-law student with more ambition than the average person. Even if I did know something, I wouldn’t tell The New England Classic. I’d go to a real paper on campus like [redacted]. Did I mention that I’m double-majoring in political science and economics with a minor in communication?”