Student Life Archives | Page 9 of 40 | The New England Classic

BREAKING: The Most Narcissistic Person You know Just Launched A Podcast

Big Issues Campus Culture Student Life October 14, 2023

“It just makes sense. Throughout the day, he records voice memos on his phone that he plays back at night to lull himself to sleep.”

A Crowded Newton Bus And 4 Other Places You NEED To End Your Situationship In

Campus Culture Student Life October 12, 2023

“It’s day 30 of my time here at BC, so I’d like to share my 5 favorite places to end things with the person who has made you incapable of feeling anything at all anymore.”

BC’s Red Scare: Your RA Is A Communist

Campus Culture Student Life October 11, 2023

According to the students, the ruling class is Father Leahy and his cabal of money grubbing bourgeois aristocrats hell bent on reaping the benefits of the cheap labor of student employees.

“Broke” Roommate Packs For Fall Break Trip To Paris

Campus Culture Holidays Student Life October 4, 2023

“Somewhere in the Boston Logan Airport, a plane prepares for its departure to Paris tomorrow. On that plane will be your destitute cash-strapped roommate whose mom couldn’t even book her the Four Seasons in time. But that will be a problem for tomorrow.”

BC Builds Outdoor Venue For Stoning Sinners And Heretics

Campus Culture Jesuits Leahy Student Life September 27, 2023

“I’ve seen this campus descend into moral depravity and sin over my career and it’s time we enhanced the judicial processes outlined in the Student Code of Conduct,” said Fr. Leahy. “We need to go back to the good old days when people doing bad things didn’t go through a long systematic trial, and we just stoned them to death. This outdoor venue is exactly for that.”

This Guy Wearing Harvard Sweatshirt Wants Everyone To Know He Got Waitlisted

Campus Culture Student Life September 7, 2023

“‘I got this sweatshirt on my tour of Harvard a couple of years ago, and although Harvard wasn’t the right fit for me in the end, this sweatshirt definitely is'”

Girl Who Donates Plasma Calls OnlyFans A “Disgrace”

Student Life March 26, 2023

While it’s not TikTok or buying clothes made in sweatshops and selling them for a normal price, one girl, Doe Nerr (CSON ‘23), has found quite an interesting way to pay for rent and support herself — one that would for sure put her grandparents in a coma if they found out. “I sell my plasma,” Nerr told The Classic, “Two days a week I go into the clinic and let a nurse suck me of some weird yellow liquid I don’t really think I need. $300 a week!”

5 Places Your Short Ginger Friend May Be Hiding Today

Holidays Student Life March 17, 2023

If your little red-headed friend is nowhere to be found at the end of the rainbow, then the Classic has you covered! We’ve listed the top-5 most likely hiding places for your short ginger friend on this grand day. Sláinte!

Student Awakes From Late-Afternoon Nap, Immediately Prepares for Early-Evening Nap

School Student Life February 23, 2023

“A nap helps me stay motivated,” said Restful, already fluffing her pillow. “It gets me ready to get down to business and pump out some assignments.” Opening her laptop, Restful proceeded to spend a half-hour on Instagram before closing her laptop again. “I definitely couldn’t do without it.”

Application Mishap Places Study Abroad Hopeful At Barcelona Wine Bar

Abroad Student Life February 21, 2023

Terbrain said that she never thought twice about the interview at the restaurant, believing that it was simply to confirm her eligibility for the abroad program. “I spent the whole time talking about my love for tapas while shoving my face with patatas bravas and sangria to show them my love for the culture. I was a little confused when she kept explaining that I wouldn’t be able to drink on the job… last time I checked, the drinking age is eighteen in Spain.”