Psych Major Cheats on Girlfriend; Explains He “Required Novel Stimuli”

WALSH HALL – College is a time for experimenting, and this brave scientist is wasting no time. 

Terry Pist (MCAS ‘26) put his Brain, Mind & Behavior knowledge to practice in an ingenious, groundbreaking experiment this week. Using his Walsh dorm as the testing grounds, Pist conducted a classic A/B test “to explore my reaction to novel stimuli in an intimate setting”.

“The experimental design was ingenious”, said Pist. “First, I invited my girlfriend to the testing area and engaged in physical intimacy with her. This was the control group. I monitored my reaction to the stimuli, and once she left, I introduced a novel source of stimuli: her direct roommate. I repeated the trial and once again noted my response.”

Pist’s girlfriend, Indie Nial (Lynch ‘26) was excited to take part in the scientific breakthrough. “My friends were like, ‘isn’t that cheating?’, but, like, no. He’s literally a psych major. He’s doing an experiment for science. I’m honored he picked me to be a part of it. At first I felt weird about it, but he used his therapist skills to help me realize that my own insecurity was the problem and I was being too controlling.”

Pist was intrigued by the results of his experiment, and may even repeat the trial with other test groups. “I would be fascinated to see how the nervous system may react to Indie’s best friend from high school or her coworker. I will definitely continue my research and report back.”

At press time, Pist was seen acquiring new test subjects via Hinge.

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