Lululemon Girl After Learning About Pontius Pilate: “OMG He Created Pilates?”

CAMPION HALL — Two days after add/drop period Privi Lege (MCAS ‘25) realized she made a terrible mistake by staying in Roman History CLAS1702 . Her whole 8-man dropped the class and “forgot” to tell her until 12:02am the day after add/drop closed. 

She sat all alone in the back of class tuned into only her FaceTune, dressed head to toe in Lululemon. Everyone was equally bewildered by her ability to own a whole outfit of Lululemon even down to the hair tie and confused if she actually went to the gym or not. 

She spoke for the first time in class when she heard the name Pilate. “OMG isn’t that the guy who created pilates? I just went to one of his classes for the first time! It really made me sweat,” said Lege. The class was astonished by her comment but relieved to know she actually had a reason to own Lululemon. 

Lege’s comment sent concerned looks around the classroom, reminding everyone that even the most fashion-conscious among us can sometimes be the least history-savvy.

As news of the incident spread across campus, Herrd filled with posts about “the Lululemon girl.” Former classmates of Lege recalled her previous comment in a literature class, where she allegedly accredited Frankenstein with inventing the deadlift.

“I was trying to be funny, of course I knew he didn’t actually create Pilates. I just wanted to make sure everyone else knew he didn’t,” said Lege when asked how she felt about people’s reactions to her comment. Privi Lege really took one for the team. 

At press time, she was seen running away from a group of CSOM boys asking her if Pontius had transformed her into an ab-sculpted goddess. At least we think it was her — it was definitely some blonde girl dressed in all Lululemon. 

More Hot Single Sandwiches NEAR YOU:

UGBC Presidential Candidate Found To Have Dangerously Close Ties To Student Government Of Moscow State University Tragic: Student Finished With Midterms Has Nothing Left To Rant About Falling Hydro Flask Most Outspoken Member Of Lecture New Perspectives Curriculum Concludes Highest Achievable Good Is The WHOPPER Jr.®️